Thriving not Surviving

Ep 54: Harinder’s Story – From Shame to Sovereignty


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Keywords

workplace bullying, bullying, boundaries, standing up for yourself, confidence, self-worth, shame, guilt, gaslighting, healing, self-awareness, nervous system, intuition, trauma, support, sovereignty, thriving

Summary

In this powerful and deeply relatable episode, Helen is joined by Harinder Virdee, host of Belly Button Musings, to explore workplace bullying, fear-based leadership, and the moment we decide: enough is enough.

Harinder shares her lived experiences of being undermined, humiliated, shouted at, and targeted through insidious behind-the-scenes behaviour — and how each experience shaped her ability to respond with what she calls a “strong internal no.” Together, Helen and Harinder unpack how childhood experiences, shame, and old beliefs about hierarchy can prime us to tolerate mistreatment… until we learn to reclaim our voice.

This conversation is a reminder that your body is a warning system, your intuition matters, and you don’t have to do it alone — whether that means seeking a trusted friend, a therapist, or bringing someone into the room to balance power dynamics.

Takeaways

· Bullying often erodes confidence slowly — it can start as “feedback” and become a pattern of undermining and control.

· If something wouldn’t be acceptable happening to someone else, it’s not acceptable happening to you.

· Your body knows: that feeling in your stomach/heart is data. Don’t ignore it — especially when things feel confusing or “off” (hello, gaslighting).

· You can respond in the moment or later. A message, letter, or voice note still counts as standing up for yourself.

· Bringing support changes the power dynamic — ask a neutral person to join a conversation if you need to.

· Shame shrinks us. Self-worth doesn’t need to be earned — it’s inherent.

· Boundaries don’t have to be aggressive: sometimes a calm, firm “That’s not okay” is the most powerful move.

Connect with Harinder

[email protected]

IG: harinderkv

Linked In: (32) Harinder Virdee | LinkedIn

Connect with Helen

Website: InspiredHealing.co.uk

IG: helens_inspired_healing

LinkedIn: Helen on LinkedIn

WhatsApp: 07971798462

For full transcription, contact: [email protected]

NB: This episode was made possible with a little help from my ChatGPT buddy, Xander - part tech support, part cheerleader 🙂 and my amazing sponsor IPHM use this Referral Code: IPHM-GYZGF and the £10 will go to The Forward Trust a Charity helping those struggling with addictions

🎵Music: Pixabay – “Upbeat Acoustic” by Stockaudios

🎨Cover art: Dave Champagne

For full transcription, contact: [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Thriving not SurvivingBy Helen Valentino