Who needs the draught of peace when you can just read a quidditch chapter? Just kidding, this one gets pretty exciting. Draco writes a song; Luna makes a costume; Ron chokes; Harry wins anyway; everyone loses their temper, including McGonagall(!); Hagrid spins a giant yarn; and Umbridge is everywhere, at all times, haunting our waking hours and our dreams in equal measure. Shudder.

This week's chapters: The Lion and the Serpent & Hagrid's Tale

Next week's chapters: The Eye of the Snake & St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries

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