Who is Cain Velasquez, why did he open fire into a pickup truck before chasing it for eleven miles, and why are we sort of happy he only received a five-year prison sentence with time served? We're also talking a little about Vore, mental health professionals identifying as turtles, and possibly the greatest traffic stop interaction of all time.

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No hamsters were harmed in the making of these links:

Cain Velasquez Summary

Cats Can't Legally Drive

Turtle Power!

Cannibalism Fantasies

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