Horace Slughorn would like to add you to his LinkedIn network (but only if you're rich and famous). This week, Dumbledore gives etiquette lessons; The Dursleys might be right about how depraved wizards are; apparating is worse than flying coach; Harry meets a real-life La-Z-Boy; and Heather reveals some dark truths about the kind of terrible, terrible teen she was. Plus: A Quibbler origin story.

This week's chapters: Will and Won't This week's chapters: Will and Won't & Horace Slughorn

Next week's chapters: An Excess of Phlegm & Draco's Detour