The Evergreen Rx

Ep. 67 Avoidant attachment, shutting down, & letting people in


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Ever pull away right when things start to feel too close? When your partner gets vulnerable, talks about the future, or expresses love, does your body go straight into shutdown-mode — like closeness is something you need to escape from?

You’re not alone. For people who lean avoidant, intimacy can feel threatening even when it’s everything you say you want. In this episode, we talk about:

  • Why affection or emotional closeness can trigger fight-or-flight
  • Deactivating strategies (like changing the subject) and why they bring temporary relief
  • How avoidance forms as protection against shame, engulfment, or rejection
  • The loneliness and exhaustion that can come with hyper-independence
  • How to tell the difference between healthy space and running away from intimacy
  • What staying “1% more” looks like in real time
  • Building inner safety so vulnerability feels survivable, not suffocating
  • Learning to tolerate being seen, wanted, and cared for

Closeness doesn’t have to feel like a trap — and you don’t have to choose between connection and your autonomy. This week, we explore how avoidant attachment shows up, how to gently expand your capacity for intimacy, and why you’re not actually “better off alone.”


EPISODES MENTIONED: 

Ep. with Remy Ramirez coming soon…

Ep. 63 Understanding your attachment style & fear of intimacy


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WEBSITE:⁠ theevergreenrx.com⁠


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Disclaimer: Everything posted here is for educational or entertainment purposes only and is not a replacement for individualized medical or mental health treatment. Please reach out to a professional therapist or doctor if you are in need of assistance. Listener questions may be specific to one individuals life or an amalgamation of common experiences and dilemmas. 

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The Evergreen RxBy Hayden