Healing Myself

Ep. 69: You can set boundaries at work, too.


Listen Later

We talk a lot about communication and boundaries for our personal lives, and a lot of those same principles can be applied to our professional relationships, too. Self-advocacy is universal, but it's also so personal, y'all. Join us as we unpack that.


WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:

Self-advocacy and setting boundaries in professional relationships [1:20]

  • Some leaders, especially people of color, seem unaware that they can advocate for themselves

  • Scott’s story of how he realized that he has the right to advocate for himself 

  • Being a team player DOES NOT mean you can’t say no 

  • Most organizations prioritize their interest over your well-being, so make sure to look out for yourself 

  • Setting boundaries around your time to prioritize self-care and avoid burnout and overcommitting 

Ways to set boundaries at work [17:37] 

  • Clearly communicating your availability to protect and honor your time (e.g. putting a sign on your office door) 

  • Remembering that people can overstep your boundaries only if you let it 

  • Putting guardrails around how you spend your time (i.e.putting Slack notes to notify people of what you’re currently doing) 

  • Setting goals with your team as a way to also respect their time 

The haze of setting boundaries at work [21:15]

  • Some people struggle with understanding boundaries 

  • Having conversations about setting boundaries could be difficult

  • Asserting boundaries can sometimes make you feel like you’re being mean 

  • Setting boundaries with a peer could be manageable, but doing so with your superior can be hard 

  • Having a “ruinous empathy” rather than offering to meet halfway 

  • The fear of being replaced to prove your enoughness

Navigating the haze [43:44]

  • Getting the support that you need 

  • Asserting your boundaries in a respectful way 

Biggest lessons [45:06]

  • You can’t advocate for others if you can’t advocate for yourself 

  • People will do what you allow them to do—it’s a disservice to both you and other person 


RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:

Listen to Pardon by T.I. and Lil Baby

Radical Candor by Kim Scott


TO STAY CONNECTED:

  1. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment.

  2. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  3. Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at [email protected].

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Healing MyselfBy Scott and Shaté Hayes