The legend of the Petrified Iacono family heirloon is revealed! Plus...

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Hark! The herald angel sings!

Gurian says the weirdest things.

Danny always gets him riled

Asking 'bout he girls defiled!

He reports on the dancing news,

And always brings his deranged spoons,

Documenting his own life

But not the details of his wife.

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Odd Rosenberg, Todd Rosenberg,

Your life coach is a train wreck.

Odd Rosenberg, Todd Rosenberg,

Myka just wants a paycheck.

She blew off your latest email,

Your movie will never prevail.

Odd Rosenberg, Todd Rosenberg,

Switch to Time Warner Cable.

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