The show opens with Calise Hawkins exhibiting her refined taste in men: thugs with minds.. or something. Girls are complicated. Chris Iacono reminisces about college, specifically 'hippie-flipping' and other fun times with certian unmentionables.  Ah, the simpler times. They also bond over astral-projecting experiences. If you don't know what that is, you are not among the chosen.

Abbi Crutchfield talks about performing at Showtime at the Apollo, and she and Calise realize they could develop a doppelganger comedy scheme, booking for each other and splitting the cut (they look alike. Google it!)

Japan might sink and destroy California, which naturally leads to a discussion of the nuances of Asian robot porn. Calise reveals she would design her ideal robot mate to have a tripod penis for variety control. And no balls. Chris just doesn't want his robot to be able to develop an opinion/personality.

Eric Bergrstrom is exhausted after trying to go home last night from Comic Strip Live, but was delayed by a man throwing himself in front of the subway train. Chris requests that you please exercise courtesy and commit all suicides away from public transportation. They discuss how cell phones are destroying socializing, and also most likely our brains. But Chris is optimistic: the radiation will probably just turn us all into superheroes. And finally, no discussion of serious issues in today's society is complete without a reference to the Twilight series.