Married and Connected

Ep 89: Mindset & Beliefs- Strengthening Your Marriage From the Inside Out

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In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into one of the most powerful influences on your marriage: your mindset and belief system. Research from psychologists and relationship experts like Dr. Carol Dweck and Dr. John Gottman shows that our mindset shapes how we experience our relationships. When we believe in the growth and potential of our marriage, we become more resilient, empathetic, and connected. But what happens when our beliefs start to shift to the negative? Why do we tend to veer that way over time, and how can we change it?

We’ll uncover why mindset matters, how to strengthen a growth mindset within your marriage, and practical ways to nurture positive beliefs about your partner. If you’ve been wondering how to renew your faith in your relationship, or if you’re ready to shift your perspective for a stronger, happier marriage, this episode is for you!

Key Takeaways:

  • Why Mindset Matters in Marriage:
    How a “growth mindset” can improve resilience, deepen empathy, and foster connection during tough times, based on Dr. Carol Dweck’s research.

  • The Role of Positive Belief:
    Dr. John Gottman’s insights on “positive sentiment override” and why assuming the best in your partner can be a game-changer.

  • Common Pitfalls & Negative Beliefs:
    Understanding “negative sentiment override,” why it happens in long-term relationships, and how it can damage trust and connection over time.

  • 5 Practical Steps to Strengthen Belief and Positivity in Your Marriage:

    1. Practice Positive Assumptions: How to validate your partner’s intentions, even during conflict.
    2. Reframe Negative Beliefs: Tools for catching negative thoughts and shifting to a growth perspective.
    3. Reconnect with Shared Goals: The power of aligning on shared values and future dreams.
    4. Small Acts of Appreciation: Why consistent appreciation boosts overall positivity.
    5. Focus on Self-Growth: Tips for personal development that can transform your relationship.

      6. Research Highlights:

      • Dr. Carol Dweck’s “Growth Mindset” theory and its application in marriage.
      • Dr. John Gottman’s work on relationship dynamics, positive sentiment override, and lasting connection.

        • Resources Mentioned:

        • Dr. Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
        • Dr. John Gottman’s The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

          • Actionable Challenge for Listeners:
          This week, start with one small act of appreciation every day. Share something you love about your partner, or recognize something positive they’ve done. Notice how these small acts impact your overall mindset about your marriage!


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          Married and ConnectedBy Kameran Al-Areqi
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