Episode 9: Nobody Warned Me It Could All Collapse at Once

How Christel Rebuilt After Divorce as a Middle-Aged Mom

EPISODE OVERVIEW

In this candid and heartfelt episode, host Shelley sits down with Christel, a 44-year-old mom of two elementary-school-aged children, to talk about the very real challenges of navigating divorce, rebuilding, and finding love again — all while parenting in midlife.

Christel shares her journey from a deeply isolating season of simultaneous divorce, business dissolution, and infant care, through years of single parenting, to arriving at a place of stability, happiness, and remarriage.

This episode is a powerful reminder that no matter how hard it gets, resilience is possible — and you are not alone.

KEY TOPICS

• Being a 44-year-old mom with elementary-school-aged children

• Differences between pregnancies at 33 and 38, including mental health support and medication

• Isolation as a middle-aged mom when friends are 10 years younger

• Navigating divorce, business sale, and infant care simultaneously

• Single parenting for 4+ years and the importance of self-care

• EFT (tapping) as a mental health tool for middle-aged moms

• Finding stability, remarriage, and rebuilding after major life upheaval

• The perspective and wisdom that comes with older parenthood

• Modeling healthy habits — gratitude, self-regulation, and self-care — for kids

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

[00:00:00 - 00:02:30] Being 44 with Young Kids — and Friends a Decade Younger

Shelley introduces Christel as a 44-year-old mom of a 6-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter. Christel shares that most of her close friends are about 10 years younger, yet their children are the same ages — creating a dynamic where their lives look similar on the surface but are very different underneath. Christel reflects that she brings more career stability and life groundedness to motherhood than her younger peers, who are still finding their footing.

[00:03:00 - 00:06:00] Two Pregnancies, Two Very Different Experiences

Christel had her first child at 33 and her second at 38, passed the ‘geriatric pregnancy’ threshold. She describes her first pregnancy as active and relatively easy; her second was physically exhausting, complicated by a two-vessel umbilical cord requiring extra monitoring and more frequent doctor visits. Christel also candidly discusses the emotional and hormonal intensity of her second pregnancy, including accepting a Zoloft prescription to manage anxiety and depression when she was ‘crying every single day.’

[00:06:00 - 00:09:00] Isolation Without a Support System

Christel reflects on how isolating it was to go through an intense second pregnancy with a husband who didn’t understand her emotional experience, and younger friends who couldn’t relate. As a hairdresser, she could chat with clients but couldn’t fully open up. Shelley connects this to her own reason for starting Middle-Aged Mama Drama — the profound experience of feeling alone even while surrounded by people, because no one shared the same life stage.

[00:09:00 - 00:12:00] Divorce, Business Sale, and Infant Care — All at Once

Christel describes one of the most overwhelming periods of her life: going through a divorce and selling her business while her son was just six months old. She felt she was failing at everything simultaneously — marriage, career, and approaching 40 — at a time when she felt she ‘should have it all together.’ Self-judgment was intense, compounded by the fact that no one around her understood what she was navigating.

[00:13:00 - 00:15:00] The Mental Health Gap for Middle-Aged Women

Shelley raises a critical observation: there’s a notable lack of therapists and mental health professionals who specialize in middle age — especially for women navigating simultaneous hormonal changes, career shifts, relationship upheaval, and parenting. Christel tried several therapists during this period but never connected with anyone who truly understood her experience. Both women agree this gap is a real and pressing problem.

[00:16:00 - 00:18:00] The Generational Complexity of Middle-Aged Parenting

Shelley and Christel explore the generational dynamics at play: Christel is Gen X/Millennial, her kids are Gen Alpha, and the gap between their life experiences and worldviews is significant. Christel notes she never really bonded with younger parents at school events — the life-stage difference was too wide to bridge into true friendship. The energy difference also stands out; younger parents seem to have more bandwidth for extracurricular activities.

[00:18:00 - 00:21:00] EFT Tapping and Finding Support That Fits

Christel and Shelley reflect on how they met through EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) tapping sessions. Christel speaks warmly about how impactful those sessions were — she still uses phrases and affirmations from their work together. Shelley shares that the connection worked partly because of their shared experience as middle-aged moms; being truly understood made the difference in the healing relationship.

[00:21:00 - 00:23:00] Remarriage, Part-Time Custody, and Rebuilding

Christel shares remarried in July, has a positive co-parenting relationship with her ex-husband, has relaunched her own business (solo this time), and feels genuinely stable and happy. She and Shelley reflect on the remarkable transformation that can happen in just five years — from crisis to clarity. Christel’s journey is offered as a message of hope to listeners who may be in the thick of their hardest season.

[00:23:00 - 00:26:00] Self-Care as a Non-Negotiable for Middle-Aged Single Moms

When asked about surviving four-plus years of single parenting while running a business, Christel is clear: self-care isn’t optional. During the pandemic she bought a Peloton and carved out 30-minute workouts during naptime. She emphasizes that even a little movement — a 10-minute walk — makes a meaningful difference. When you’re depleted, you have nothing to give. Filling your own cup is what makes you a better mom, employee, and friend.

[00:26:00 - 00:29:00] The Gift of Perspective — and Modeling It for Our Kids

The episode closes on an affirming note: both women agree that older parenthood comes with the gift of hard-won perspective. You stop worrying about things that don’t matter. You become more intentional with your time. And the coping tools you’ve developed — gratitude rituals, tapping, walking, taking a breath — become the very things you model for your kids. Giving children these skills early is one of the most meaningful advantages of having an older, wiser parent.

NAVIGATING MAJOR LIFE UPHEAVAL AS A MIDDLE-AGED MOM

The Compounding Effect:

• Divorce, business closure, and infant care often collide in midlife — when women feel they ‘should’ have it figured out

• The self-judgment at 40 can be crushing: expectations of stability meet unexpected chaos

• Younger friends and family members often cannot provide meaningful support because they aren’t in the same life phase

• Middle-aged women face simultaneous hormonal changes, identity shifts, and parenting demands with little targeted support

What Rebuilding Looks Like:

• It’s rarely linear — and it takes time (often years, not months)

• Seeking any mental health support, even imperfect connections, is worthwhile

• Tools like EFT tapping can be transformative when combined with shared understanding

• Small consistent actions (short workouts, walks, gratitude practices) accumulate into real resilience

• Connection with others who share your experience is not a luxury — it’s essential

KEY QUOTES

“When your cup is full and you’re doing a little self-care, that energizes you to be a better mom and a better employee and a better friend.” — Christel

“I just didn’t have anybody to talk to. It was super isolating.” — Christel

“I want to be a support system to women who are middle-aged. I’ve been brewing this in my head for years.” — Shelley

“You start to get perspective when you’re older. You just don’t see it until then — and you also learn to notice what is really important.” — Christel

PRACTICAL TAKEAWAYS

For Middle-Aged Mothers:

• You are not failing if everything feels hard simultaneously — sometimes life just stacks that way. Give yourself grace.

• Self-care in short doses (a 10-minute walk, a 30-minute workout) is not indulgent — it’s what keeps you functioning for your kids.

• Seek out community with other middle-aged moms. The understanding of someone in the same life stage is irreplaceable.

• The perspective and patience you’ve earned through your life experience is a genuine advantage your children benefit from every day.

For Single Moms and Divorced Mothers:

• Prioritize one small act of self-care daily — even during the hardest seasons. It makes a measurable difference.

• It’s okay if the friends and family around you don’t fully understand. Find the people — or communities — who do.

• Rebuilding takes time. Five years from now may look radically different than today. Hold onto that.

• A co-parenting relationship doesn’t have to be adversarial — even after a difficult divorce, a respectful dynamic is possible.

For Everyone:

• The mental health system has a gap for middle-aged adults. If you haven’t connected with the right therapist yet, keep looking — the fit matters.

• What you model for your children — gratitude, self-regulation, resilience — becomes the toolkit they carry into their own lives.

• Perspective is a gift that comes with age. Most of what you used to worry about won’t matter in five years.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Modalities Discussed:

• EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) / Tapping — used by Christel with host Shelley for emotional processing and mindset work

• Zoloft (sertraline) — discussed as a supportive option for prenatal anxiety and depression at advanced maternal age

• Peloton — mentioned as a pandemic-era tool for accessible at-home exercise for single moms

Related Episodes:

• Episode with Brooke — interview with a mom who had children at ages 24 and 38

• Mom Guilt episode with Jeni — exploring how cultural expectations compound mom guilt

CALL TO ACTION

• Share this episode with a middle-aged mom who is going through a hard season — let her know she is not alone

• If you or someone you know has a story to share, reach out: [email protected]

• Subscribe and leave a review to help more middle-aged mamas find this community

• Follow Middle-Aged Mama Drama for upcoming episodes, including interviews with teenagers of older parents

Remember: Our community is stronger and better because you are in it. You belong here exactly as you are.

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