A Special Quote for Rick

“Embody what you teach and teach only what you have embodied.” - The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman

Acknowledging the Truth

Rick Clemons had the guts to tell his parents he was gay while he was in his teens. Whether due to a lack of understanding or social pressures, they did not accept his message and sent him to religious counseling. He was imprinted with the idea that he didn’t understand himself.

By the time Rick was 38 he was married to a woman and had children. A trip to London opened him up to the insight that he is able to love a man. The connection felt wonderful at the time but when he arrived home he knew he had to come out to his wife. The burdening guilt and shame of being a cheat was multiplied by the fact that, deep inside, he had always known he was gay. But he had never accepted this understanding from a loving place.

Searching for Acceptance

Coming out was bittersweet for Rick. He came out fighting. He tried very hard to get people to accept him, even though he had not completely accepted himself. He wanted them to accept him when he wanted them to, not giving them time to deal with the loss of who they thought he was. He hadn’t realized a grieving period was necessary. Everyone, including himself, needed to go through the 5 stages of grief, as if someone had died. He says, “I don’t want them to celebrate that I found myself but I am inviting them to find a way for me to be in their life as I am now.”

Starting to Shift

Three years later, Rick started a relationship with a man who would become his husband. Relationship troubles were creeping in again because he was still making the same mistakes. He was still hiding his true self. Once he started owning his part in the relationship and being true to himself, others responded by being their true selves towards him. Opening up allowed him to get what he wanted. 

Working with Others Who are Coming Out

He now counsels others who have yet to fully accept themselves. He works hard to not force his perspective on anyone else because that opens the door for them to force their perspective on him. He believes truths should be told. If others want to throw daggers, it is because something in them needs to be healed. In his book he shares his experiences with the hopes that people will take what they need from it and learn to embrace who they are. 

Thanks to

Thanks to Rick who took time out from working on his podcast, The Coming Out Lounge, to share with us today about his very personal experiences. His new book “Frankly my Dear I’m Gay” is now available electronically and in paperback. 

Share Your Thoughts

If you would like to share your thoughts and ideas with me, you can connect on twitter with #curvyworldpodcast and @iamannpeck. On Facebook you can join the private Curvyworld group and you have direct access through my email: ann@annpeck.com. Also, be sure to check out my website. If you would like a copy of my ‘I Am Habits’: simply text Iamhabits (all one word) to 44222.