A Special Quote for Theresa

Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries. Boundaries are also connected to a Higher Timing than our own. We’ll set a limit when we’re ready, and not a moment before. So will others. There’s something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say; others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we’re controlling others, but because we’ve changed. - From Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go

The People Pleasing Human Pretzel

Is the admiration that accompanies mothering everybody in our lives, worth the giant gaping void we get from not taking care of ourselves? More than likely not, but many women don’t seem to change their sacrificial behavior until they feel like they have lost themselves or some even take it to the edge of dying inside. They twist and bend like a pretzel to make everyone else happy, simply because they are able to. So, how do we step out of codependency and save ourselves? By reprogramming ourselves to follow the IAMHABIT #2: having compassion for ourselves first and then sharing ourselves with others. 

Newly Single but Not Ready to Mingle

Theresa Nutt was divorced for 7 years before she considered dating again. She used the time to rediscover herself while working with coaches and counselors. She figured out who she was, as an adult. She praises the book, Solemate by Lauren Mackler, which she says gave her guidance and confidence as she transitioned and transformed. When she was finally ready to meet men again, she turned to an internet dating site.

Do Women Really Respond to This?

Online dating can be overwhelming for the new female user. As soon as she posts her profile, hundreds of responses from “supposedly” eligible bachelors appear in her inbox. It can take days to sort through the half-dressed or sometimes full-frontal photos. Messages with subjects like “How do you feel about friends with benefits?” and “I feel like an axe murdered today” could be comical if they weren’t such a waste of time. As you know, a woman looking for a life partner is serious business.

Things are Not Always What They Seem

Researching someone on the internet seems easy enough but it’s difficult to verify anything. It’s extremely important for women to know who they are dealing with when they communicate using an online dating site. If a recent contact tells you he is going golfing with the guys or a new connection tells you he is a soldier in Syria, you have to believe him or the conversation ends. Police say women are generally trusting of other people and, therefore, must be extra cautious. If you are wondering why the police got involved, listen to Theresa share her very personal story of being deceived online by a man for months to the point of being overwhelmed with all he was asking of her. She opens up about how he tricked her into falling for him and into sending him money.

Thanks to

A big Curvy World thank you to Theresa Nutt. It took courage to share your story with us. You just might save another woman from wasted time and disappointment. Listeners, if you would like to know more about Theresa and her coaching services, visit her website Closeted Creatives.

If you are in the midst of an online relationship and it is starting to make you uncomfortable or you notice a red flag you can contact Scamwarners to see if your prospective mate is a prospective fake. 

Share Your Thoughts

If you would like to share your thoughts and ideas with me you can connect on twitter with #curvyworldpodcast and/or @iamannpeck. On Facebook, you can join the private Curvyworld group and you have direct, private access through my email: [email protected] and be sure to check out my website, Annpeck.com. If you would like a copy of my “I Am Habits”, simply text Iamhabits (all one word) to 44222. Let me know how you found out about Straight Talk – I love collecting the stories.