*This conversation may include opinions of family law but it should not be considered legal advice.

Special Passages

"Happiness comes more from loving than being loved, and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding. To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again — this is the brave and happy life." - by J.E. Buckrose

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more." - from The Fear of Flying by Erica Jong

Crossing Relationship Borders

Kim Bell has crossed many borders in her life. She is an Australian who is married to an American she met while in the Philippines and who currently lives in Canada. Both of her husbands, previous and current, had children before she married them. She doesn't have any offspring. This in combination with her being a Senior Attorney gives her a unique perspective when discussing love, marriage, divorce, the law and more love.

There is a history and a dynamic that exists between a parent and a child, which affects a parent's new relationship with someone else. Four months after Kim started dating PJ, she made it clear to his daughter that she didn't intend to take the place of her mother but she would be there for her whenever she needed to talk and she also made it clear to the mother that she would never try to replace her. This allowed for a free and open relationship to grow amongst them all.

The Good Thing about Getting Older

It takes time for women to figure out who they are, what is important to them and most importantly what they decide they will no longer accept in their lives. Once we are well into our 40's we know ourselves better and we are finally settling into being happy with who we are. In Kim's own words, "It's beneficial to learn lessons the hard way because that way we don't have to learn the same lesson twice" and "This is another precious day in your life you will never get back again. Love yourself and love the people around you. Life is a gift."

It's important to take time between relationships to figure things out. If you spend some time alone to get the rest of your life in order, it really helps you to love someone because you love them not because you need them.

It's Called Legalese But Ain't Legal Easy

Want to know what's a hard thing to do? Talking with your fiancé about individual assets before you even get married, but it needs to be done. It needs to be out in the open a few months before you tie the knot. It doesn't have to be a prenuptial agreement but you should at least have a will in place in case of an emergency. Wills are described as living documents because they can be changed when life changes. Legal documents offer protection for spouses and children alike. Dividing up assets does not have to be confrontational.

Money should be the last reason you stay in a marriage you are not happy in. It's a recipe for being miserable.

I met Kim in the Philippines at Chris Ducker's Tropical Think Tank. We met fellow creatives and lifelong friends there.

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