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When your teammate is struggling, it's easy to assume they're not trying hard enough. But what if the problem is something else entirely?

In this episode of Beyond The Build, we dive deep into one of the most uncomfortable topics in software engineering: how to recognize when a colleague is struggling and what you can actually do to help.

We break down what "struggling" really looks like—missing deadlines, failing to meet expected standards, taking on too much work, or lacking skills in areas like documentation, influence, or even coding itself. We discuss how these challenges manifest differently depending on someone's level and role, and why showing grace is critical in an industry where the work is genuinely difficult.

What we cover:

• Why struggling doesn't equal lazy—and the many reasons engineers fall behind
• How cultural differences (especially for immigrants) can impact work expectations
• The manager problem: when leadership doesn't understand how hard the work actually is
• Recognizing that people are skilled in different areas—and that's okay
• Practical strategies for helping struggling teammates: direct conversations, milestone planning, expectation alignment, and regular check-ins
• Creating accountability without creating fear
• Building psychological safety so people feel comfortable asking for help
• Role-specific support tactics: pair programming for engineers, shadowing for PMs, and more
• Why software engineering is a team sport—if the team loses, everyone loses

Whether you're a senior engineer, team lead, or IC who wants to be a better teammate, this episode gives you a framework for turning struggle into success—for your colleagues and your team.