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EP4: Overcoming the Inability to Ask for Help
Do you have trouble asking for help, even when it comes to everyday situations? Are you somebody who would rather take the world on by their self than reaching out? Don’t worry, I know exactly how you feel. I know how it feels to overload yourself with things to do, sending messages to those around you that aren’t being received. I remember how it feels to be overwhelmed and stuck in your own life, but not being able to reach out because of the fear. If you stick with me for the next 30 minutes, I promise you that with everything you learn from the facts I share, the story I tell and by using the tools I will give towards the end, you will be one step closer to asking for the help that you desperately need. Do we have a deal? Good, let’s dive right in
Welcome
Episode number four! At the end of the last episode, From Doing Drugs to High on Life, I revealed many of my secrets from what I consider my former life. If you haven’t listened to it yet, I highly recommend it – not just because it is me, but because I revealed parts of my past that many of you may not know. Toward the end of the episode, I shared my regret in not asking for help sooner and how my trying to take it all on myself, I made my journey more difficult than it needed to be. So, this week, I thought it would be wise to share what I have learned about asking for help since then and help you to be able to do the same.
Rejecting Help
“Do you need help honey?”
“NO! I can do it myself!”
“Can I give you a hand with anything?”
“It’s fine, I will do it all”
“Would you like help with..?”
“I DON’T NEED ANY HELP!”
Just a few examples of conversations you may have heard, or even had. Asking for help seems to be something that nearly all of us struggle with in some way or another. Whether we refuse help doing something physically, reject assistance with our mental state or hand back gifts of generosity – saying no to help is something that each of us have done and probably still do. There is nothing wrong with saying no to help, but how about when saying no is detrimental to our physical and mental health?
Why Do We Reject Help?
Why don’t we ask for help? Well, let me tell you what I know. I know that often my ego wants the feeling of doing accomplishing the task on its own. I know that having someone help me can make me feel not good enough because I couldn’t do the task on my own. I know that I enjoy the achievement of figuring something out on my own and I also know that I can take too much on as a justification for emotions or results. Do any of these sound like you?
Let’s take a look at these individually:
1) Wanting to do it yourself. There is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve something on your own, but sometimes it gets in the way of actually getting the task done. Is this something that you do? That even when you have no idea about how to do something, you would rather attempt to figure it out on your own than have someone else show you? I know it is something I am guilty of! I always wanted to be independent and have AAALLLLLLL the answers, so I could never admit that I needed help or didn’t know something – it would blow my cover!
2) Have you ever wanted to uphold your image so much that you have affected the end result? What I mean is that sometimes I would choose wanting to be seen as the “guy who knows everything” or “who can handle things on his own” even though it then meant that I didn’t get the task done and looked like an idiot in the end anyway! I hated the feeling of asking people for help because I thought
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Do you have trouble asking for help, even when it comes to everyday situations? Are you somebody who would rather take the world on by their self than reaching out? Don’t worry, I know exactly how you feel. I know how it feels to overload yourself with things to do, sending messages to those around you that aren’t being received. I remember how it feels to be overwhelmed and stuck in your own life, but not being able to reach out because of the fear. If you stick with me for the next 30 minutes, I promise you that with everything you learn from the facts I share, the story I tell and by using the tools I will give towards the end, you will be one step closer to asking for the help that you desperately need. Do we have a deal? Good, let’s dive right in
Welcome
Episode number four! At the end of the last episode, From Doing Drugs to High on Life, I revealed many of my secrets from what I consider my former life. If you haven’t listened to it yet, I highly recommend it – not just because it is me, but because I revealed parts of my past that many of you may not know. Toward the end of the episode, I shared my regret in not asking for help sooner and how my trying to take it all on myself, I made my journey more difficult than it needed to be. So, this week, I thought it would be wise to share what I have learned about asking for help since then and help you to be able to do the same.
Rejecting Help
“Do you need help honey?”
“NO! I can do it myself!”
“Can I give you a hand with anything?”
“It’s fine, I will do it all”
“Would you like help with..?”
“I DON’T NEED ANY HELP!”
Just a few examples of conversations you may have heard, or even had. Asking for help seems to be something that nearly all of us struggle with in some way or another. Whether we refuse help doing something physically, reject assistance with our mental state or hand back gifts of generosity – saying no to help is something that each of us have done and probably still do. There is nothing wrong with saying no to help, but how about when saying no is detrimental to our physical and mental health?
Why Do We Reject Help?
Why don’t we ask for help? Well, let me tell you what I know. I know that often my ego wants the feeling of doing accomplishing the task on its own. I know that having someone help me can make me feel not good enough because I couldn’t do the task on my own. I know that I enjoy the achievement of figuring something out on my own and I also know that I can take too much on as a justification for emotions or results. Do any of these sound like you?
Let’s take a look at these individually:
1) Wanting to do it yourself. There is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve something on your own, but sometimes it gets in the way of actually getting the task done. Is this something that you do? That even when you have no idea about how to do something, you would rather attempt to figure it out on your own than have someone else show you? I know it is something I am guilty of! I always wanted to be independent and have AAALLLLLLL the answers, so I could never admit that I needed help or didn’t know something – it would blow my cover!
2) Have you ever wanted to uphold your image so much that you have affected the end result? What I mean is that sometimes I would choose wanting to be seen as the “guy who knows everything” or “who can handle things on his own” even though it then meant that I didn’t get the task done and looked like an idiot in the end anyway! I hated the feeling of asking people for help because I thought