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🎙️ Episode Title: Why Do I Do That?

Podcast: Wounds, Wisdom, & The Word
Hosts: Jamie Shepherd & Doug Gregory
Length: ~51 minutes
Theme: Understanding generational and behavioral patterns—why we repeat them, and how faith and awareness help us change them.

🔍 Episode Overview

Jamie and Doug dive into the question, “Why do I do that?”—exploring the deep roots of our behaviors, habits, and thought patterns. Through a humorous story about cooking a ham, they unpack the concept of intergenerational trauma and how our upbringing “programs” us to live, react, and relate in certain ways.

This episode blends psychology, neuroscience, and biblical truth, helping listeners recognize inherited patterns and take intentional steps toward spiritual and emotional renewal.

🧠 Key Topics & Takeaways

1. The Ham Story: How Habits Begin

• Three generations cut the end off the ham—without knowing why.
• Lesson: Traditions and patterns often outlive their original purpose.
• This simple story illustrates intergenerational transmission—how behaviors are learned and repeated without question.

“We do things without thinking because that’s how we were taught—or it’s the only way we know how.”

2. Programming and the Human Mind

• Doug compares childhood learning to computer programming.
• Computers (and people) only do what they’re programmed to do—unless that code is rewritten.
• Childhood environments teach us how to function and survive, for better or worse.
• Two ways we’re “programmed”:
  • Instructional learning: What we’re told.
  • Modeling: What we observe.

3. Crucible Learning

• Jamie explains “crucible learning” — lessons formed under pressure and pain.
• Families with chronic stress (disability, poverty, single parenting, etc.) become high-heat environments that shape a child’s coping strategies.
• These experiences may teach survival, not thriving.

4. Biblical Parallels: Israel’s Generational Cycles

• The Israelites’ wilderness wanderings show how patterns of disbelief and disobedience are learned generationally (Numbers 32:10-13).
• Though sin isn’t inherited, influence is (Ezekiel 18:20).
• Our families teach us both faith and failure—each generation must choose differently.

Ezekiel 18:20 (ESV): “The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father… The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself.”

5. Modern Generational Shifts

• Doug discusses the pendulum swing between emotional suppression and emotional overexpression.
• From the Great Depression to today’s “my truth” culture, every generation reacts against the last.
• Challenge for the Church: Learning intergenerational empathy—sharing wisdom and listening humbly.

6. The Role of Fathers and Family Dynamics

• Fathers are called to lead spiritually and lovingly (Ephesians 6:4).
• Absence or emotional unavailability in fathers deeply affects children.
• Single-parent homes and broken family systems require intentional role models (grandparents, church mentors, etc.).
• God’s design for family is perfect; our human imperfections make it messy—but redeemable.

Ephesians 6:4 (ESV): “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

7. Breaking the Cycle

• It’s possible to rewrite your “code.”
  • Neuroplasticity allows the brain to form new pathways.
  • Repetition and new experiences lay fresh “tracks” over old ruts.
• Like a trail in tall grass, old habits fade when you stop walking them.
• The familiar isn’t always the healthy.

“Old neural pathways are comfortable—not because they’re good, but because they’re familiar.”

8. Practical Steps for Change

• Awareness: Ask “Why do I do that?” without defensiveness.
• Perspective: Counseling and community reveal new options.
• Repetition: Practice new behaviors until they feel natural.
• Forgiveness: Let go of blame toward parents or past generations.
• Faith: Lean on Scripture and God’s design for renewal.

“Be transformed by the renewal of your mind…” — Romans 12:2 (ESV)

9. Tools for Healing

• Doug and Jamie tease the next episode: Building Your Emotional Toolbox.
• Learning to replace unhealthy tools (coping, reactions) with biblical and healthy alternatives.
• Counseling, prayer, community, and Scripture become tools for transformation.

📚 Recommended Resources

• I Never Knew I Had a Choice — Gerald Corey
• Bible passages:
  • Numbers 32:10-13
  • Ezekiel 18:20
  • Ephesians 6:4
  • Romans 12:2
• Topic keywords: intergenerational trauma, family systems, neuroplasticity, spiritual leadership, emotional healing

💬 Memorable Quotes

“Programming doesn’t make you bad—it just means you haven’t been updated yet.”“Sin doesn’t transfer, but influence does.”“They’re dead—they don’t care if you’re cutting the end off the ham. Stop doing what no longer serves you.”“You can’t put the end of the ham back on—but you can stop cutting it off next time.”“God’s design is perfect. It’s our humanness that makes it messy.”

🙏 Final Thoughts

Breaking unhealthy generational patterns takes courage and faith. The good news is that God equips us to change. Through reflection, forgiveness, and spiritual growth, we can stop cutting off “the end of the ham” in our own lives—and model freedom and wisdom for the next generation.

🎧 Next Episode Preview

Topic: Building Your Toolbox — Practical Steps to Reprogram the Mind
Jamie and Doug will discuss tools for emotional and spiritual growth: practical strategies, biblical foundations, and how to turn awareness into lasting change.

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