Key Learning Points:

1.How employers can support workers in blended families

2.What a ‘blended family’ looks like

3.How rigid working environments can impair employees’ performance

Welcome back to the Risky Mix! In this episode, we welcome newlyweds Sam (a former Risky Mix guest) and Jennie, who are here to talk about the challenges and joys of their ‘blended’ family. Sam is the Founder & CEO of Stella Insurance and Founder & Chair at Freedom Services Group. Jennie also had a big job in the city but is now the Creator & Author of a successful children’s book and expanding brand, Howie Blend, which aims to promote diversity through featuring various forms of blended families!

A big thanks to our series partners, Genasys and The Camelot Network, for enabling this to happen!

We start by asking Sam and Jennie what their ‘blended’ family looks like. Sam explains that she was previously married and had two kids, Frankie and Harry. After she divorced, she joined Tinder and found it both ‘terrifying and enlightening’ but ultimately met her other half on the platform. Sam came as a ‘package deal’ for Jennie, as she already had kids - making their unit a ‘blended family’ - where two separate families come together. The fact that they were an LGBT+ couple added an extra layer of ‘greatness’! They both explain how they are also adding to their family via IVF.

We then ask Sam and Jennie what it’s like living in a blended family. Jennie first explains that their family isn’t as divided as it might seem; they don’t use labels like ‘step-parents’ and ‘step-siblings’ - their kids call them their ‘mums’ and nothing else. ‘We are one unit, one family’. We then ask how Sam splits her childcare responsibilities. Sam explains how she has a 50/50 custody split, which has worked well for her and Jennie. Her workplace advocates for flexible working, so she scales her work according to when her kids are with her. Jennie tells us that it can be difficult to be separated, but they still find the ‘joy in every circumstance’; they maximise time away from their kids by spending it together.

Raj then asks whether being part of a blended family adds another level of complexity at work. Sam explains how it does, but other people in her workplace - including several single mums - are in similar situations. Her companies have flexible working policies in place which lets parents like her work around their childcare requirements, but it’s important that they establish good communication first. For example, Sam learnt that colleagues abroad preferred to schedule meetings later at night and leave their early evenings free for their families. She says that many people go through personal issues, so ‘trying to parent and be good at your job’ at the same time can be ‘psychologically jarring’ - making it difficult for people to perform at their best. ‘If you give that flexibility to people, they give it back in dividends.’

Katie also asks what employers should do to support people. Sam talks about how her company brought in a psychologist to work on ‘emotional contracting’ and understanding where people’s boundaries lie. Sam explains that many people at work often lack ‘professional intimacy’; if you’re trying to create high-performing teams, people have to understand each team member, how they work together and what their boundaries are. Often, situations arise where someone is completely inflexible due to their family situation - but unless people trust each other and communicate properly, team members and bosses can feel let down. Raj agrees and says that there is often a culture in corporate environments where anything outside of work is not talked about - a toxic culture which becomes prevalent. Sam also agrees; she has worked with people who have been but has supported them through those times and ‘have come out on the other side and had lots of success’.