Key Learning Points:

1.The challenges faced by parents of neurodivergent children in school

2.How seeking a diagnosis for a neurodivergent child can affect a parent at work

3.The support that parents need from their employers

Today on the Risky Mix, we welcome back Rebekah Bostan and Eilish Jamieson! Rebekah is Director of Research & Insight at InsTech and Eilish is an Executive Coach & Board Advisor. Both will share their experience raising neurodivergent children, including their journeys to gaining diagnosis, their challenges navigating the education system, parental mental health and the support they may require from employers. Thank you for being so open and honest with us, ladies!

A big thanks to our series partners, Genasys and The Camelot Network, for enabling this to happen!

We first ask Eilish and Rebekah to tell us about their family setup. Eilish explains how she is a mum of three, where her middle child has autism, ADHD and dyslexia. For a while, her family normalised her son’s ‘character traits’, believing he had a ‘fiery’ personality and embraced it. Once he went into secondary school, it became apparent that her son was struggling. He saw the word in ‘black-and-white terms’ but was also highly intelligent and ahead of his peers. Eilish tells us she went through the private healthcare route to gain a diagnosis. Eilish also tells us that, although she thought she had worked with diverse teams before, she knew nothing about neurodiversity because, as she admits, she ‘didn’t have to’.

Rebekah explains how her experience was different; her family has a long history of neurodivergence. She is a mum of two; a 13-year-old daughter and a 16-year-old son. Her son was diagnosed with ADHD, dyslexia and dyspraxia - which didn’t come as a shock. Yet what shocked Rebekah was how schools treated neurodivergence. Rebekah explains that she brought in private tuition to help his education which put a financial strain on her family. Rebekah also explains that seeking government help and the associated paperwork adds additional stress. In that context, Rebekah says it’s no wonder that over 75% of parents with neurodivergent children struggle with their mental health. Eilish tells us that we often see statistics released about women leaving the workplace due to ‘childcaring responsibilities’, yet there’s never a definition of exactly why this is. She tells us that neurodivergent children often have more demands on parents’ time and as such, having a community is incredibly important so she encourages parents to find support groups online.

We also ask Eilish and Rebekah what change they would like to see from employers. Eilish tells us that workplaces are far more aware of parents’ challenges and special educational needs than ever before but often wait until parents reach a crisis point where they can’t sustain their work hours. At that point, most organisations are supportive but Eilish insists that it should never get to that point. She praises employee assistance programmes, so that children get access to professional support, but acknowledges there is still a way to go. Rebekah tells us that her main points of stress came from assessing her child’s needs, the diagnosis and behavioural issues. At all of these points, Rebekah needed time away from work and flexibility in working hours. Her previous employer gave her what she needed and she stayed for 14 years.

Eilish also pointed out these resources for finding support and advice:

• IPSEA - works with parents to understand their rights and how to get their families the support they need

For business:

• Neurodiversity In Business
• GAIN
• Made By Dyslexia