* Paul is talking about Christ and the Church and uses a husband and wife as a word picture.

* In verses 31-32 we see the concept of oneness.

* What binds the couple into one? Love and Respect!

* These are the two core needs of a man and woman:

* 1) Wives need love.

* Love to a woman is all about PRIORITY.

* A woman won’t respect a man who doesn’t prioritize her.

* Notice Paul has to give the husband’s a qualifier - “like you love yourself.”

* He never gave the same to the wife.

* 2) Husbands need respect.

* Respect to a man is all about ADMIRATION.

* A man won’t be loving toward a disrespectful woman.

* She is to respect him based not on his behavior but on who he is as a man, made in the image of God.

* Three Marriage Cycles:

* 1) Head Over Heels (energized cycle) - When a wife feels loved she responds with respect. When a husband feels respected he responds with love.

* 2) Heels Over Head (crazy cycle) - When a wife feels unloved she reacts with disrespect. When a husband feels disrespected he reacts with being unloving.

* ** Problem - you cannot withhold what your spouse needs in order to get what you need.

* ** Solution - To get out of the crazy cycle it will require UNCONDITIONAL love and respect.

* The more mature spouse is the one who needs to act first.

* Specifically, it should be the man - he should be willing to take the bullet just as he would on the battlefield (Isaiah 50:6).

* Matthew 5:46 - “if you love those who love you, what reward will you get?”

* To love or respect unconditionally will require you to do it “as unto the Lord.”

* 3) Headed Toward Healing (reward cycle) - when a wife respects even when he’s unloving or when a husband loves even when she’s disrespectful it opens us up for God’s rewards!

* We have to understand that our marriage is not primarily about us and our spouse, but it's about us and Jesus.

* Marriage is a test on how much we love the Lord.