Admit it: when you were a kid, things were better and made sense. But today’s kids make no sense at all. They don’t even have to walk miles and miles in the snow to get to school! They just sit at home and go to school on their phones for some reason that has nothing to do with who you voted for. Walk miles and miles into tonight’s Die-O-Rama, and learn how you are right, and it is the children, always the children, who make no damn sense.

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