Over the weekend I joined a new app called Clubhouse where you join a room, but you don't type your opinion you literally speak your questions or comments. Typing you can say anything to insult someone, but when you are talking to a group of people with your voice you are nice about it. But one of the rooms was called, Why to Men Give 100% and Women Only Give 30%? Just that very question has set up any relationship with doom. If you are going to start a relationship by keeping score you will fail every single time. Even when I am doing separation or divorce mediation both sides are still keeping score. The scoring system creates a great amount of stress on a relationship because it is a selfish emotional need. and you have forgotten about the want to create a good relationship for both of you. Keeping score is a very selfish system for just one person, the other individual only counts if they match your score card. No everyone is going to be able to give 100% of themselves because circumstances change that affect the life together. There maybe times when a person in the relationship can only give 80 percent and you may have to pick up the other 20% to get through a job loss, child issue, a family death, and the list goes on. That is life and when you use a score card you have pretty much sent the relationship to a mediator because you destroyed the relationship with selfish motives. Stop keeping a scorecard in your relactionship. Work to build the relationship, not tear it down by keeping score.

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