On my side of the family, we only have kids that are sassy, spirited and strong-willed (it may have something to do with the fact that 5 out of the 6 grand kids are adopted).  One of the things that has been most surprising for me is how much emotion these kids have!  When they are happy, they are intensely happy.  When they are upset, they are intensely upset!

Watching these kids get so upset has been hard for me. I keep drawing a blank on how to help them and just find myself repeating "calm down" over and over again.

That's why I am so jazzed about today's episode!  Mike Fitch, CMHC gives calming techniques that are specific to your child.  By the end of the episode, you will know how to create an "emotional emergency kit" for your kids. (Bonus: these techniques are great for parents, too.  Kids aren't the only ones with big emotions.)

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Mike Fitch, CMHC

Note: If you need help being calmer, use the techniques in this post for yourself, too!

How do we help our strong-willed children manage their big emotions?

1. Realize that big emotions are normal for the strong-willed child

Know that their big emotions are absolutely normal!  Strong-willed kids just seem to have more intense emotions.  They are often your happiest child AND your most upset child.  They feel things in extremes.

Big emotions are part of their personality. Some kids have very little personality and emotions while other have an extreme amount of personality and emotion.  Having lots of emotions does not make your child bad, but they do need you to teach them how to manage their emotions.

2. Know that you are your child's best emotional coach

One of the most important roles a parent has, is to be their child’s emotional coach.  I’m not saying that a parent should take RESPONSIBILITY or OWNERSHIP of their child’s emotions.  Rather, that parents are the ones who need to teach their children healthy ways to manage their emotions.

This is done both through words and through example.  Your children will watch you to see how you manage your emotions and then will copy what you do.

3. Time PLUS Good coaching often lead to good outcomes

Trust that your children will be better equipped to manage their emotions as they age and mature.  Your children’s brains are undergoing so much construction and reconstruction when they’re younger, that it is challenging for them to manage their emotions well.  But think about how much more capable YOU are at managing your emotions than when you were younger.

However, maturity alone is not enough.  Our kids do need the coaching I talked about earlier in order to learn how to manage their emotions.  Then as they mature, they will know what to do and be better equipped to do it.

4. Learning to manage emotions is a lifelong process.  Be patient with the process.

While you may be better able to manage your emotions as an adult, do you still struggle with your emotions?  Chances are the answer is “Yes”. Emotions are a challenge for us ALL until the day we die.

While you are teaching your children to manage their emotions better, realize that they will have good days and bad days...just like you.

5. Teaching your child how to manage emotions now is a HUGE gift to them

Knowing that managing emotions is a lifelong process, imagine how much better off your kids will be because you are teaching them young.  This will give them lots of opportunities to practice in the safety of your home. They will be so much further ahead than many of their peers.

Thank you for being a parent that cares as much as you do and is dedicated to helping their child!!

6. Become aware of how your child expresses their emotions:

I love to teach parents that kids express their emotions with different parts ...