The first thing that I think is necessary to mention is that a sexual predator or pedophile does not have a certain look….they don’t stand out in looks in fact they generally look like the rest of us a fit in pretty well. In fact they are typically a kind and helpful person. They are encouraging and they are there when you need them.

Now I am not an expert in the detection, conduct, treatment or recidivism rates of Sexual predators, but I do know the things I am aware of because of my law enforcement experiences and knowledge and studies.

So lets talk about what to look for. Studies and testimony from pedophiles show that they generally begin with an act of grooming a child. They spend time, energy and maybe even money to get children and their parents often times to feel comfortable with the situation between them and the child. After trust is established then the predator will become a little more risky or intrusive….pushing the limits a bit if you will, so that they can test boundaries.

This stuff you might see could be hugging the child, kissing, tickling, wrestling and maybe even be slightly improper while the child is dressing, changing clothes or using the restroom….. The restroom within your ministry should be a big concern when it comes to the safety of the children by the way.

Some of the touching that goes on may be claimed to be an accident, again as part of that testing to see how the child reacts and any parents or other teachers and leaders present react. Also keep in mind all of this prep work and becoming a trustworthy friend to the child and the adults around the child helps prevent people from reporting if the pedophile gets caught. This trust system works for them, that one reason why they get away with the predator behavior for so long.

So lets look at some clues or signs to look for that a pedophile might be grooming or working on your child:

The person tells the child that he or she is a “special” friend

They give the child special gifts

They may talk to a child about adult topics including sex or marriage problems.

They may give a child adult items like cigarettes or alcohol.

They may try to arrange a child to spend the night or be close to them, maybe in the same cabin or tent, if they go to a camp together.

A little more detail is added to this process for us by retired FBI agent Kenneth Landing. He has published five steps to help us identify the process most sexual predators use to groom children to be their victims.

First, he tells us that pedophiles have different victims that they are searching for, but most of the time they find their victim has some vulnerability.

Next, Agent Landing tells us that a pedophile will then collect as much info on the child victim they are targeting as they possibly can. Most of the time they do this through conversations with the child, parents or guardians.

Third, the pedophile then looks to become part of the child’s life by fulfilling a need. If the child is poor for an example the predator will provide him/her with expensive toys. If the child is lonely the pedophile becomes a friend.

Next Agent Landing tells us that a pedophile will work to lower the Child’s inhibitions concerning sexual matters. He may use games or activities that involve getting undressed, making sexual comments or show the child pornography.

In stage 5, Agent Landing say the pedophile begins to sexually abuse the child.