Look, you had a look at my pictures, so you know what you’re in for, but if you really need to have a look at the nutritional facts before indulging in this snack, please, read on. 

I’m a writer, entrepreneur, animal lover and video game critic. But that’s just what I do for work. You don’t want to hear anything about that. You want to know about what date night is going to look like. You’re a diligent investor, that’s why you’re reading this description instead of just hitting the “add to cart” button. Well, let me tell you, any guy can take you to Chili’s or Olive Garden or Outback Steakhouse. But a hyper-masculine, money’d gent like myself knows you’ve got class- nothing but the best for you. That’s right. Cheesecake Factory! Where my name echos in it’s hallowed halls- legend of the biscuit alchemist. And I come prepared. Sure, other folks may order off menu, but the true gladiators of date night know that an evening at CakeFac isn’t complete without a waffle-iron and some cheddar cheese. You can turn pretty much any boring entree into a rich, gooey panini, and you don’t even need to bring fixins. 

The point is, girl, I’m gonna feed you. Now please, stop pretending that you’re still reading this and swipe that shit to the ‘like’ side and let’s have an adventure.