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One concern that comes up over and over again in our private facebook group, is “How do I get my kids to sleep through the night?” We get to talk to Jeff Tesch, LMFT today, all about getting our kids to sleep through the night.

 

Jeff Tesch, LMFT

Is it normal for kids to have issues with sleeping?

Both normal and very common. It's understandable that kids have to kind of learn how to soothe themselves at night and how to stay in their beds.   The phase where they are learning is a hard time for parents.

It’s also really common for a child to be sleeping well, the to experience some regression.  We experience the same kind of cycles as adults.

I think one of the things that's really, really hard about a child not sleeping is it’s negative effect on everyone’s mood.  When we’re sleep deprived, we’re more emotional and have less control over our behavior.  The same is true for our kids.

Tips for getting your child to sleep and keeping them asleep.

Tip #1: Take time to unwind before bed

We can’t expect a child to go from chaos to calm in two minutes.  It’s important to start telling your child’s body that it’s bedtime at least an hour before bed.  Try keeping the lights low, the music quiet, and doing to calmer activities.  Slowing things down tells your child’s body that it’s about time to sleep.

Tip #2: Have a consistent bedtime routine.

Using a consistent bedtime routine is another way to tell your child’s brain that it’s sleeping time.  I recommend starting the routine close to the same time every night.  Include some activities that are positive for your child i.e., reading books, singing songs, etc.

Note: You’ll need to try to eat early enough to accommodate your bedtime routine.

Tip #3: No screens at least an hour before bed.

There’s so much good research indicating that the blue light from screens mimics the blue light of daytime sky.  The blue light tells your child’s brain that it’s daytime.

In addition to the blue light issue, screens also stimulate the brain.  It’s hard to go to sleep if your brain feels overstimulated.

So commit to turning screens off at least an hour before bed.

Tip #4: Evaluate if their nap schedule is getting in the way of their sleeping at night

If you have a child who seems to not be sleepy at night, look at their naptime schedule.  Are they taking a really long nap during the day?  Are they taking naps late in the day?  Are they sleeping in until 8 or 9 am?  All of these factors can affect how sleepy your child is at night.

If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, you may want to adjust so your child can be sleepy at night.

What do you do when all of the above isn’t working?

If you have a good routine, don’t use screens, your kids aren’t napping and the STILL won’t go to sleep at night-go talk to your doctor. 

How do I get my child to stay in their room all night?

Tip #1: Start young

Try to have your child sleep in their own beds as young as possible.  I’m a huge proponent of adults having their own TIME and SPACE.  I think that parents need a break from being a parent.  In my experience, it really is best to have kids sleeping in their own rooms.

Tip #2: Don’t let them crawl into bed with you

This is SO hard to do because you’re exhausted. In the middle of the night, you just want to do whatever it takes to get sleep.  However, if you want your kids to stay in their own beds you HAVE to put them back into their own beds.  They need to learn that it’s not worth their time to try to crawl in with you.

Will this interrupt your sleep? Yes. Will some of you have to take your child back to their beds over and over and over again? Yes. Will it be worth it eventually?  Yes.