The Learner's Corner with Caleb Mason

Episode 070: Suzanne Stabile On How the Enneagram Works in Relationships

Listen Later

In this episode, Caleb and Todd talk with Suzanne Stabile about the Enneagram and how it plays out in personal and professional relationships.

Guest Links

Suzanne's website

Suzanne on Facebook

Suzanne on Twitter

Suzanne on Instagram

Life in the Trinity Ministry website

The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile

The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile

Links Mentioned

Episode 44 with Chris Heuretz

The Learner's Corner Recommended Resource

The Creative Pep Talk Podcast

What We Learned

Eights: Challenger

  • They have the most energy.
  • They need to know that not everyone can keep up with them
  • They aren't aware of how they affect others.
  • They get energized by having conversations where people disagree
  • They are impatient with people who can't keep up
  • Communicate effectively with them by being brief, straightforward, and truthful
  • They want all the facts
  • They mistake tenderness for manipulation

    • Nines: Peacemaker

    • They have the least amount of energy.
    • They need to know that problems don't fix themselves.
    • They need to know that people can't read their mind.
    • They need affirmation and affection
    • Realize that agreement for a Nine doesn't necessarily mean participation and that participation doesn't necessarily mean commitment.

      • Ones: Perfectionist

      • They need to know that everyone does not notice all of the error they see
      • They need to be gracious when things aren't done the way they want
      • Don't patronize their desire to want to make things better
      • Admit and own the mistakes you made to a One

        • Twos: Helper

        • Don't expect people to know your needs. They don't know what's wrong.
        • Realize that the people I help, don't want my help
        • Know that Twos can only process verbally
        • They're ok with not being the leader, but they need to be recognized for their contributions

          • Threes: Achiever

          • Know that they can't set goals for other people, but they are good at setting goals
          • They feel love for what they do, not who they are. A person can't be loved for who they are unless they are vulnerable and reveal who they are.
          • They're ok with being the leader and in the spotlight
          • They are good cheerleaders and want to help you be successful
          • They are not interested in rehashing things in the past
          • Be softer than someone who is a Three

            • Four: Romantic

            • They need to know that people can't handle their emotional violability
            • They need to know that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship
            • Not many people know Fours
            • They are the most complex number
            • Don't be afraid to tell Fours that you feel pressure to be more than you can be
            • Don't tell them to cheer up

              • Fives: Investigator

              • They are the only number that has a measured amount of energy
              • They need to know that they can't have a relationship without giving up some of their time and energy
              • They need to be clear about what they want to remain private
              • People need to know that there is a difference between private and secret
              • Don't push them to socialize
              • Know that if you ask them how they feel, they'll tell you what they think
              • Know that it costs Fives comfort when you ask

                • Sixes: Loyalist

                • They are the most populated number
                • They are the most concerned about the common good
                • They can't expect other people to be as loyal as they are
                • They need to know that other people don't struggle with anxiety as much as they do
                • They like to get to know people based on the details of their life
                • They need attentiveness and details
                • They need reassurance and reminded

                  • Sevens: Enthusiast

                  • They think they have all of the emotions, but they only have half of them
                  • They need a fuller range of emotions and they need to sit in pain
                  • They need to know that they can't be responsible to a relationship and they can't be dependable in a relationship if they keep all of their options open.
                  • Don't try to get them to commit to a fixed scheduled. They thrive on spontaneity.
                  • Realize that it's difficult for a Seven to be in a relationship if they can't make the other person happy
                  • They love time alone
                    • Quotes to Tweet

                    "Your Enneagram number is determined by your motivation, not your behavior." - Suzanne Stabile Click to Tweet

                    "Until people are exposed to the Enneagram, they tend to think that everyone is the same." - Suzanne Stabile Click to Tweet

                    "You can't change what you see, but you can change what you do with what you see." - Suzanne Stabile Click to Tweet

                    New Episode Every Tuesday

                    Thank you for listening to the Learner's Corner Podcast.

                    We hope you'll join us for next week's episode.

                    Until next time, keep learning and keep growing.

                    ...more
                    View all episodesView all episodes
                    Download on the App Store
                    The Learner's Corner with Caleb MasonBy Caleb Mason
                    • 4.8
                    • 4.8
                    • 4.8
                    • 4.8
                    • 4.8

                    4.8

                    44 ratings