Episode 081 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

We’re all still white belts at this thing we call “life.” *gongs*

Today’s Theme: Martial Arts. Something we’re all experts at. Hell, I’ve seen Kung Fu Panda at least 3x.

Our first topic is the martial art you’d want to master. Believe it or not, Lex did not select “BBJ,” proving once more he’s an embarrassment both on-and-off the podcast. Producer Kenny chose Spank The Monkey form and we’re not entirely sure if he meant Drunken Monkey…

Our second topic is the martial arts film that began your journey. Ben actually chose Three Ninjas, which is hysterical as a) he’s a black belt in karate and b) those kids could still whip his ass. Meanwhile, will Surf Ninjas ever get the respect it deserves?

Our third topic is the best martial art PERIOD. A lot of dick measuring here, which is ironic as Art has next to no training in any form. Seriously, he’s half-Brazilian and the only way he’s honored his ancestors is by getting a bikini wax… on his head. Hiyo!

Our final topic is how our martial arts backgrounds have served us in street combat. Trust us, you’re not going to be impressed. It sounds like Al has the most street cred, which should help everyone sleep more soundly at night. *sobs*