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In this insightful and practical episode, host Athena Cordero welcomes Tarron Riley, longtime supervisor and clinician at Desert Mountain Children’s Center (DMCC), for a deep dive into emotional intelligence (EI). What it is, why it matters, and how to use it in real life. Drawing on two decades of clinical work with adolescents, anger management, and family systems, Tarron demystifies EI as a set of learnable abilities: recognizing emotions (in ourselves and others), understanding their causes and consequences, using emotions to meet the moment, and regulating them effectively.

Together, Athena and Tarron unpack accessible tools like the Mood Meter (red/blue/yellow/green quadrants) and Tarron’s Anger Meter (1–10 scale) to help listeners identify their current state and intentionally “shift zones” for the task at hand. Whether that’s delivering tough news as a leader, preparing for a presentation, or coming home to family after a hard day. Through real examples from on-the-job calls to a father–son round of golf, Tarron shows how self-awareness, social awareness, and co-regulation transform conflict into connection, and reaction into choice. The result is a compelling invitation to practice EI daily so teams communicate better, classrooms run calmer, and relationships grow stronger.

Mood Meter Zones Chart

Mood Meter Chart

🔑 Highlights & Takeaways

• EI, defined (the ability model):
  Identify emotions, understand their drivers, use emotions to support goals, and regulate/co-regulate effectively. These are skills, not fixed traits—meaning they can be taught and improved over time.
• The Mood Meter (quick map):
  • Red: High energy, unpleasant (e.g., anger, panic). Useful for urgency/advocacy—when channeled.
  • Blue: Low energy, unpleasant (e.g., sad, discouraged). Surprisingly great for detail work (auditing, proofreading).
  • Yellow: High energy, pleasant (e.g., excited, inspired). Broadens focus—great for brainstorming and engagement.
  • Green: Low energy, pleasant (e.g., calm, content). Best for reflection, consensus-building, and presenting with poise.
• Name it to tame it:
  Self-awareness comes first. Label what you’re feeling before choosing strategies. The Anger Meter (1–10) and an emotion vocabulary list make this easier.
• Leader playbook (before the meeting):
  Read the room → anticipate how news may shift emotions → decide the target zone you want the group in → tailor your delivery and pace to guide them there. Follow with support and clarity.
• Create space between trigger and tongue:
  When you feel the red zone rising, pause, breathe, step back if needed. Respond deliberately instead of reacting impulsively.
• Co-regulation in action:
  Use tone, pacing, and empathy to help others shift—without invalidating their feelings. Check assumptions with gentle questions.
• Everyday practice beats one-time insight:
  Consistent, small reps (micro-check-ins, mood labeling, reframing self-talk) lead to long-term change in teams, classrooms, and families.
• Practical starter tools:

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