The Happier Approach: Quieting your High Functioning Anxiety

Episode 104: Self-Loyalty Starts With Better Self-Care


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Recently my husband had an extended hospital stay. 

The number one question I received from my well-meaning friends and family was: How are you going to take care of yourself while he is in the hospital? 


“The best I can,” I told them. But this just did not satisfy their curiosity. 

They wanted to hear about all the bubble baths, yoga, and meditation I had planned for this stressful time. But I knew better. There wasn’t a bubble bath in the world that was going to make this easier. 

My husband was in the hospital. It was going to be stressful. I didn’t know what to expect. The self-help industry’s’ idea of self-care wasn’t going to be any help.  I was simply going to do the best I can.

All this month we are looking at how the self-help industry has sold us a bunch of toxic information. And for those of us with High Functioning Anxiety who love looking outside of ourselves for the answers, this toxicity is especially troubling.

In today’s episode, I take a closer look at self-care and how it isn’t just yoga, bubble baths and breathing apps. Self-care done well is the ultimate in self-loyalty.  

Listen to the full episode to find out:

  • How the idea of self-care has gotten out of control
  • What I believe the 3 main issues of self-care are for people with HFA
    • How we associate busyness and stress with prestige and status
    • How we have made self-care synonymous with self-indulgence
    • How we wrongly believe that we are undeserving of self-care
  • How we can go about building self-loyalty
  • And what we can do to define self-care for ourselves

Some of the research and resources mentioned in this episode:

  • The Journal of Consumer Research on busyness and lack of leisure as a status symbol
  • My books on living with High Functioning Anxiety
  • And how you can work with me one-on-one 

The solutions the personal growth industry sells leave women living with hidden anxiety--women like you--with more stuff to be anxious about. Even worse, it can turn you off from getting help completely.

I want to help you dial back the overwhelm and overthinking with a set of tools desi

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

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The Happier Approach: Quieting your High Functioning AnxietyBy Nancy Jane Smith

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