You're eating lunch in a modestly priced eatery. A homeless gentleman drunkenly stumbles in...this is your chance to VIRTUE SIGNAL! You hop out of your seat, waving your credit card in the air. "I'll help this man!" you valiantly declare to anyone within earshot. You grab the bum by the hand and lead him to the counter. "Anything you want on the menu under $5 is all yours, my man," you proudly beam. The bum turns to you and belches, "You're a fat cunt." You recoil in horror. The bum takes your glasses and smashes them on the floor. "No good deed goes unpunished," the bum hisses as he shoves you out of the way. You don't realize it but the bum has deftly stolen your iPod. As he pops the earbuds in he hears the soothing tones of W3 Thr33 Tr0lls. The bum smiles as he shits himself; another day in paradise!