In this three part series, guest expert Gwen Kiehne shares her most impactful strategies for helping families work out their struggles with sleep. part 2 of 3 Humans are pattern-recognition learners Here are some helpful notes from Gwen:

1. Parent sets up routines and patterns

2. Establish circadian rhythm by exposing newborn to light in the morning and dark in the evening and at night.

3. Babies learn with consistency over time

4. Relation to other things: math, language, food, sleep

5. Not just based on baby’s cues--you cue to them

6. Creating a strong attachment relationship is about building patterns that feel stable, safe, and predictable. And so part of that is being responsive and part of that is being firm

7. Deviating from the routine, aiming for consistency not perfection. Life is going to happen and, developmental storms are going to blow through, vacations will happen. So, what do you do, mix equal parts go with the flow and keep the things familiar that you can. When you travel, pack the favorite lovey and your white noise, think about a plan for black out shades (pssst… you can get easy cut to size temporary paper ones at the hardware store for like $5), etc. Try to keep with a similar sequence even if the timing is off due to time zone changes. When teething or illnesses come, you should always feel like you can attend to your baby when they need you. But the more you can keep things steady, the more comforted by the predictability they will be and the less work you will need to do when the storm passes. So, if you’ve established a falling asleep laying down routine and teething is going on, your baby may need a little extra comfort or some medication, but you’re still going to lay down to sleep even if it’s a little harder for a night or two rather than drastically changing the routine in response to the discomfort. Drastically changing things means that your baby is now uncomfortable and unsure about what the expectations are.

Gwen with my older daughter in 2016

Gwen Kiehne has a passionate interest in human development, with a particular focus on newborn, infant, and child emotional development and the transition to parenthood. She has been a postpartum doula for almost 8 years, and a certified sleep coach for 3 years, among other various birth professional hats. Gwen has worked with hundreds of families and cares deeply about helping parents find their inner wisdom and cultivate their own path on their parenting journey. She is the proud mother of a wonderfully curious 10 year old and a community organizer here in Seattle’s Central District.