The Happier Approach: Quieting your High Functioning Anxiety

Episode 118: The Joy of Missing Out With Tonya Dalton


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I have often fallen for the trap of thinking that a new system–a new calendar, a new journal, a new app–was all that I needed to keep me organized and bring order to the chaos. 

But all around me are piles of half-filled calendars, abandoned bullet journals, and long lost apps–the evidence of well-meaning systems that I started only to later abandon.

I know that it isn’t a flaw in the systems that’s the problem. It’s my own lack of commitment to these systems that is the problem. I know this truth, and yet I still struggle to live in that place. It is so much easier to just blame the freaking system.

In January we are inundated with the new year, new you message. It is a time when starting a new system for change is particularly alluring. And all this month we have been taking a different look at how change works. 

We’ve covered: setting New Year’s resolutions without succumbing to the hype, working through our challenges so that we can live a life that is true to our values, what Mr. Rogers can teach us about slowing down and being present, and how the concept of Spialling Up can be applied to a life long of growth and change. 

I thought it would be nice to end the month on a conversation with Tonya.

Tonya Dalton is a productivity expert, author, speaker, and founder of inkWELL Press Productivity Co, a company centered around productivity tools and training. 

So, of course, when I started reading her book, The Joy of Missing Out, I was hopeful that Tonya could fix me with a shiny new system for finding joy in doing less. I soon realized that wasn't the case. 

Instead, Tanya gets it. She understands the struggle. She isn’t about some “all you have to do is follow my system and you will be cured” way of thinking. 

As you know, like most of my clients, my BS meter is pretty, and when I was reading Tonya’s book, it was like Tonya was reading my mind. Every objection I had, she had a way to make it approachable and doable. 

Listen in to see which ones I've added to my life, and at the end of the interview, I'll share how it's still going. 

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • What Tonya has to say about our love with the to-do list and how to think about it differently. 
  • Why Tonya is

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The Happier Approach: Quieting your High Functioning AnxietyBy Nancy Jane Smith

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