Wherein we delve into the mysteries of Laura's secret diary. Leland's been arrested for the murder of Jacques Renault; Donna's flirtation with Harold leads to some revelations from Laura's diary; and Agent Cooper finally realizes what's happened to Audrey, and puts a plan in place to save her. Also: Who is M.T. Wentz? How much did Josie really spend on lingerie in Seattle? And what's going on with Andy's sperms?

This marks the first appearance of Aidan's Terrible German, which he hopes to make a regular feature of this show. Please write in and tell him to stop, and while you're at it, peruse the German episode titles for yourself.