Lauren and Isaac read Tom Clancy's "action" "thriller" "classic" Patriot Games this time. It's 500 pages of '80s sexist nonsense with lots of details about how different guns work. PLUS--terrorists! (white ones, mostly) Lauren says, "Fuck you, Jack Ryan." Isaac says, "Yes, you can write a novel with your dick." PLUS PLUS--the premiere of our long-awaited theme song!