...and tonight we’re talking about #DMs —

because I swear the SECOND it gets cold,

people start DM’ing like they’ve just escaped a toxic relationship simulator.”

“Men suddenly remember the ONE person who used to keep them warm (emotionally

and recreationally)…

and women start sending DMs like they’re in their feral season.”

“December is not a month — it’s a psychological experiment.

Everybody’s lonely, everybody’s nostalgic,

and EVERYBODY is one bad decision away from typing ‘U up?’ at 1:12AM.”

“And let’s be honest —

Men don’t slide into DMs with good intentions.

They slide in with jealousy, thirst, and the memory of what you USED to let them get

away with.”

“And women? Oh my GOD.

Women turn into CIA agents in December.

They’ll zoom in on your story, analyze your background,

and send a DM that could start a war AND a situationship at the same time.”