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Episode 129: The Courage to Go First - Changing Your Marriage One Choice at a Time
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Most couples don’t fall apart because of one catastrophic blow-up. They drift apart through a thousand tiny hesitations — the unspoken belief that “I’ll change when my spouse does.”
It feels fair. It feels protective.
But in reality, it becomes a quiet stalemate where no one moves, no one softens, and nothing heals.
In this episode of The High Ticket Woman, Debbie Caudle dives into one of the most common but least-discussed patterns in marriage: the “you first” cycle. She unpacks how couples get stuck waiting for the other to apologize first, love first, soften first, or show effort first — and how that waiting slowly drains emotional safety and intimacy from the marriage.
Through real-life stories, biblical wisdom, and practical tools, Debbie explores:
• How scorekeeping turns marriages into emotional standoffs
• The subtle ways resentment and fatigue disguise themselves as fairness
• Why waiting for your spouse to “earn” your tenderness never brings the change you hope for
• How one spouse can shift the spiritual atmosphere of the marriage without taking on all the blame
• Why going first isn’t weakness — it’s leadership
• The difference between responsibility and control
• How to replace the “you first” mindset with a posture of stewardship, courage, and faith
With compassion and clarity, Debbie reframes what it means to create change in a marriage — not by rescuing your spouse or carrying every burden, but by stepping into the kind of growth God calls you to in your own heart.
Whether you’re the one who shuts down, the one who lashes out, or the one who feels you’ve been trying alone for far too long, this episode offers a new way forward — one built on spiritual maturity, emotional honesty, and a deeper kind of connection.
Because healing rarely starts with the person we think it should.
It starts with the one who decides to take the first faithful step.
Support the show
To submit your relationship question for Q & A episodes, just email me: [email protected].
And, if you're ready to rebuild your marriage from the inside out, then check out my 6-month intensive marriage recovery program,s designed to help you heal deeply, communicate better, and reconnect emotionally and spiritually. Learn more at https://debbiecaudle.com/marriageinbloom
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By Debbie CaudleSend us a text
Most couples don’t fall apart because of one catastrophic blow-up. They drift apart through a thousand tiny hesitations — the unspoken belief that “I’ll change when my spouse does.”
It feels fair. It feels protective.
But in reality, it becomes a quiet stalemate where no one moves, no one softens, and nothing heals.
In this episode of The High Ticket Woman, Debbie Caudle dives into one of the most common but least-discussed patterns in marriage: the “you first” cycle. She unpacks how couples get stuck waiting for the other to apologize first, love first, soften first, or show effort first — and how that waiting slowly drains emotional safety and intimacy from the marriage.
Through real-life stories, biblical wisdom, and practical tools, Debbie explores:
• How scorekeeping turns marriages into emotional standoffs
• The subtle ways resentment and fatigue disguise themselves as fairness
• Why waiting for your spouse to “earn” your tenderness never brings the change you hope for
• How one spouse can shift the spiritual atmosphere of the marriage without taking on all the blame
• Why going first isn’t weakness — it’s leadership
• The difference between responsibility and control
• How to replace the “you first” mindset with a posture of stewardship, courage, and faith
With compassion and clarity, Debbie reframes what it means to create change in a marriage — not by rescuing your spouse or carrying every burden, but by stepping into the kind of growth God calls you to in your own heart.
Whether you’re the one who shuts down, the one who lashes out, or the one who feels you’ve been trying alone for far too long, this episode offers a new way forward — one built on spiritual maturity, emotional honesty, and a deeper kind of connection.
Because healing rarely starts with the person we think it should.
It starts with the one who decides to take the first faithful step.
Support the show
To submit your relationship question for Q & A episodes, just email me: [email protected].
And, if you're ready to rebuild your marriage from the inside out, then check out my 6-month intensive marriage recovery program,s designed to help you heal deeply, communicate better, and reconnect emotionally and spiritually. Learn more at https://debbiecaudle.com/marriageinbloom