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Episode 13: Holiday Stress!
The Supporting Kindness Podcast
Episode 13 – Holiday Stress!
Hosts: Greg • Rich • Derek • Liam
Episode Overview
The holidays are often sold as “cozy lights and warm connections,” but for many people, this time of year is complicated, heavy, and sometimes painful. In this episode, Greg and co-hosts Rich, Derek, and Liam talk openly about the hidden side of the holidays: anxiety, family tension, substance use, money stress, loneliness, and the pressure to “be cheerful” when you’re barely holding it together.
They share personal stories, name common holiday triggers, and offer simple, practical tools to help you get through the season with more kindness toward yourself—whether that looks like taking grounding breaths in your car, stepping away to the bathroom to reset, breaking the ice with a family member, or planning an early exit with a safe word.
This is a compassionate, honest conversation for anyone who feels like the holidays are “supposed to” be joyful but often hurt instead.
Main Themes & Key Topics
Notable Quotes & Observations by Each Host
Greg – Naming the Hidden Holiday Struggles
Greg opens the episode by validating the quiet pain a lot of people feel this time of year but rarely say out loud.
“For some people, the holiday season is cozy lights, warm connections, and beloved traditions. But for many people, it feels very different. It's a tight chest when you enter a crowded mall… anxiety before a family gathering that has complicated dynamics… or quiet hurried loneliness when everyone else seems to have plans and you do not.”
Key points from Greg:
“If you are struggling, you're not broken and you're definitely not alone.”
Highlights practical tools they’ll cover:
Rich – Anxiety, Crowds, Travel, and Turning to Substances
Rich speaks candidly about how the structure of the holidays collides with his anxiety and need for routine.
“For me, it's definitely in crowds, travel disruptions, around routine, and just my need to do grounding exercises to handle that.”
Key points from Rich:
“I've realized that I even turn to prescription medications… it doesn't matter what it is, I turn to substances to solve my problems.”
“All I needed to do was some breathing exercises… a couple deep inhales, count to five, few exhales, and just ground myself.”
Derek – Family Rituals, Vices, and Strategic “Bathroom Breaks”
Derek reflects on how holiday rituals in his family were shaped around his mother’s emotional state and how coping patterns formed around that.
“It was all based around how she was, what she was wanting and how she was feeling and what would help her ease the pain or heightened anxiety or stress of the holidays. And then the rest of us would just tend to follow suit.”
Key points from Derek:
“Unintentionally or unknowingly… this quote-unquote ritual of consuming alcohol as soon as we get somewhere too cozy and hey everyone let's all relax… grab your vice, this will be nice.”
“When in doubt… I have to go use the restroom right now… That code was, I need to not be here for five minutes.”
Liam – Substance Use, Painful History, and Breaking the Ice
Liam shares honestly about using substances to cope with holiday stress and the complex dynamics in families with shared histories of addiction and pain.
“I found holiday stress to cause me to maybe in the past use substances before get-togethers even happened because I thought that would help reduce my stress in dealing with family…”
Key points from Liam:
“A lot of times that would just make things worse.”
“You may be getting together for a specific reason for a certain holiday, but… you're going to be talking about history that probably is painful and can be awkward and embarrassing.”
“There were a lot of things covered up by substance use and a lot of things that probably shouldn't have been brought to light because of substance use.”
“We try to at least take that stress part out of the equation… having an understanding that just being together on the holidays is what's supposed to be in the spirit of each holiday.”
“When I get to a gathering, I like to start out with something like… ‘Hey, it's so great to be with you. I love you. We haven't seen each other in a while.’”
Practical Coping Tools Discussed
The episode highlights several concrete strategies that listeners can adapt to their own situations.
Have a small kit of items that help you feel safer or more present:
These can be kept in a bag, pocket, or car as quiet support tools.
While not deeply unpacked in the transcript, Greg names:
Core Takeaways
Many people feel anxious, sad, overwhelmed, or disconnected this time of year, even if they don’t say it out loud.
Families may unconsciously organize around one person’s emotions, or rely on substances as part of their unofficial holiday script.
Using before or during gatherings may numb pain in the short term but can worsen conflict, shame, and confusion.
Grounding breaths, brief time-outs, rescue codes, comfort items, and starting with kindness can help you get through gatherings more safely.
Being short on money is common, and you are not letting people down by not buying big gifts. Connection, not cost, is what matters.
Saying no, stepping away, or leaving early are all valid options. Your mental health matters more than meeting a holiday ideal.
Resources Mentioned
Greg shares a robust list of support options in the show notes, especially for anyone dealing with self-harm thoughts, suicidal thoughts, substance use, grief, or mental health challenges.
Some highlighted resources include:
Find a Helpline offers immediate, free, and confidential support through over 1,300 helplines in more than 130 countries. Services include suicide prevention, domestic violence help, and support for anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns. An intelligent ranking system connects you with the most relevant helplines for your needs. Available 24/7 in a judgment-free space so you can get help anytime.
https://findahelpline.com/
If you’re in immediate danger or thinking about harming yourself, call 911 or your local emergency number. You can also call or text: 988 (U.S.).
For listeners outside the U.S., check local health services and crisis lines.
You don’t have to go through this alone. There is help, and there is hope.
Episode Summary in Bullet Points
If this episode spoke to you, consider sharing it with someone who might also be struggling this season. A simple link and “this made me feel less alone” can be a powerful act of kindness.
View all episodes
By Greg ShawThe Supporting Kindness Podcast
Episode 13 – Holiday Stress!
Hosts: Greg • Rich • Derek • Liam
Episode Overview
The holidays are often sold as “cozy lights and warm connections,” but for many people, this time of year is complicated, heavy, and sometimes painful. In this episode, Greg and co-hosts Rich, Derek, and Liam talk openly about the hidden side of the holidays: anxiety, family tension, substance use, money stress, loneliness, and the pressure to “be cheerful” when you’re barely holding it together.
They share personal stories, name common holiday triggers, and offer simple, practical tools to help you get through the season with more kindness toward yourself—whether that looks like taking grounding breaths in your car, stepping away to the bathroom to reset, breaking the ice with a family member, or planning an early exit with a safe word.
This is a compassionate, honest conversation for anyone who feels like the holidays are “supposed to” be joyful but often hurt instead.
Main Themes & Key Topics
Notable Quotes & Observations by Each Host
Greg – Naming the Hidden Holiday Struggles
Greg opens the episode by validating the quiet pain a lot of people feel this time of year but rarely say out loud.
“For some people, the holiday season is cozy lights, warm connections, and beloved traditions. But for many people, it feels very different. It's a tight chest when you enter a crowded mall… anxiety before a family gathering that has complicated dynamics… or quiet hurried loneliness when everyone else seems to have plans and you do not.”
Key points from Greg:
“If you are struggling, you're not broken and you're definitely not alone.”
Highlights practical tools they’ll cover:
Rich – Anxiety, Crowds, Travel, and Turning to Substances
Rich speaks candidly about how the structure of the holidays collides with his anxiety and need for routine.
“For me, it's definitely in crowds, travel disruptions, around routine, and just my need to do grounding exercises to handle that.”
Key points from Rich:
“I've realized that I even turn to prescription medications… it doesn't matter what it is, I turn to substances to solve my problems.”
“All I needed to do was some breathing exercises… a couple deep inhales, count to five, few exhales, and just ground myself.”
Derek – Family Rituals, Vices, and Strategic “Bathroom Breaks”
Derek reflects on how holiday rituals in his family were shaped around his mother’s emotional state and how coping patterns formed around that.
“It was all based around how she was, what she was wanting and how she was feeling and what would help her ease the pain or heightened anxiety or stress of the holidays. And then the rest of us would just tend to follow suit.”
Key points from Derek:
“Unintentionally or unknowingly… this quote-unquote ritual of consuming alcohol as soon as we get somewhere too cozy and hey everyone let's all relax… grab your vice, this will be nice.”
“When in doubt… I have to go use the restroom right now… That code was, I need to not be here for five minutes.”
Liam – Substance Use, Painful History, and Breaking the Ice
Liam shares honestly about using substances to cope with holiday stress and the complex dynamics in families with shared histories of addiction and pain.
“I found holiday stress to cause me to maybe in the past use substances before get-togethers even happened because I thought that would help reduce my stress in dealing with family…”
Key points from Liam:
“A lot of times that would just make things worse.”
“You may be getting together for a specific reason for a certain holiday, but… you're going to be talking about history that probably is painful and can be awkward and embarrassing.”
“There were a lot of things covered up by substance use and a lot of things that probably shouldn't have been brought to light because of substance use.”
“We try to at least take that stress part out of the equation… having an understanding that just being together on the holidays is what's supposed to be in the spirit of each holiday.”
“When I get to a gathering, I like to start out with something like… ‘Hey, it's so great to be with you. I love you. We haven't seen each other in a while.’”
Practical Coping Tools Discussed
The episode highlights several concrete strategies that listeners can adapt to their own situations.
Have a small kit of items that help you feel safer or more present:
These can be kept in a bag, pocket, or car as quiet support tools.
While not deeply unpacked in the transcript, Greg names:
Core Takeaways
Many people feel anxious, sad, overwhelmed, or disconnected this time of year, even if they don’t say it out loud.
Families may unconsciously organize around one person’s emotions, or rely on substances as part of their unofficial holiday script.
Using before or during gatherings may numb pain in the short term but can worsen conflict, shame, and confusion.
Grounding breaths, brief time-outs, rescue codes, comfort items, and starting with kindness can help you get through gatherings more safely.
Being short on money is common, and you are not letting people down by not buying big gifts. Connection, not cost, is what matters.
Saying no, stepping away, or leaving early are all valid options. Your mental health matters more than meeting a holiday ideal.
Resources Mentioned
Greg shares a robust list of support options in the show notes, especially for anyone dealing with self-harm thoughts, suicidal thoughts, substance use, grief, or mental health challenges.
Some highlighted resources include:
Find a Helpline offers immediate, free, and confidential support through over 1,300 helplines in more than 130 countries. Services include suicide prevention, domestic violence help, and support for anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns. An intelligent ranking system connects you with the most relevant helplines for your needs. Available 24/7 in a judgment-free space so you can get help anytime.
https://findahelpline.com/
If you’re in immediate danger or thinking about harming yourself, call 911 or your local emergency number. You can also call or text: 988 (U.S.).
For listeners outside the U.S., check local health services and crisis lines.
You don’t have to go through this alone. There is help, and there is hope.
Episode Summary in Bullet Points
If this episode spoke to you, consider sharing it with someone who might also be struggling this season. A simple link and “this made me feel less alone” can be a powerful act of kindness.