Once again I have been plagued by the concept of time.

When I was 10 I began marking time since my father passed and in reflecting back on his death and having begun the process of processing my mother's loss, I realize that I won't do the same with her loss.

When dad died I didn't know what I didn't know about loss: I would have a child that would never know him, or that I would have certain experiences that I would not be able to share or get advice from him. Each year that passed simply marked another year that I was able to "grow" without him.

My mother's death was different.. I had her for 51 years. She taught me and gave me everything she could... really everything I needed. The only thing that we really had left was, well, time.

Time the spend together and do our favorite things, just to make more memories.

I think about time now and I have listened to Hootie and the Blowfish song 'Time'. I had never really given the lyrics much thought until my mother passed.

Here is a link to the song: Time - Hootie and the Blowfish

Song lyric:

Time why you punish me? Like a wave bashing into the shore You wash away my dreams

Time why you walk away? Like a friend with somewhere to go You left me crying

Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow? And all the pain and sorrow running free? 'Cause tomorrow's just another day And I don't believe in time

Time I don't understand Children killing in the street Dying for the color of red

Time hey, there red and blue Wash them in the ocean, make them clean Maybe their mother won't cry tonight

Can you teach me about tomorrow And all the pain and sorrow running free? But tomorrow's just another day And I don't believe in

Time is wasting time is walking You ain't no friend of mine, I don't know where I'm goin' I think I'm out of my mind, thinking about time And if I die tomorrow, just lay me down in sleep

Time is wasting time is walking You ain't no friend of mine I don't know where I'm goin' I think I'm out of my mind, thinking about time

Time you left me standing there Like a tree growing all alone The wind just stripped me bare, stripped me bare

Time the past has come and gone The future's far away And now only lasts for one second, one second

Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow And all the pain and sorrow, running free? 'Cause tomorrow's just another day And I don't believe in time

You ain't no friend of mine I don't know where I'm goin' I think I'm out of my mind

Walking, wasting You ain't no friend of mine And I don't know where I'm goin' No don't know

[Incomprehensible] is just Wasting, wasting, wasting time

Time why you punish me?

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])