Justice-Centered Parenting

Episode 14. 7 Ways to Help Your Children Have a Positive First Introduction


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In this three-part series, my husband and I get personal about the strategies we used to to help our three year old adjust to life with a baby sister.

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How to make the very first introduction as pleasant and positive as possible

Note: there are many different ways children are added to families. In this episode, we speak from our experience of planning on a home birth with a hospital back-up plan. If you are in a different situation, this won’t be all-inclusive but we hope that many of these things will still apply.

  1. Decide in advance what your plan is, and prep your child for the plan and possible deviations
  2. Sign up kiddo for a new sibling class
    1. In the event of a homebirth, attend one that clarifies the birth process or watch a video for kids

  3. Have a sensitive, flexible known adult come to be the older kids’ designated adult
    1. We had a lot of alternatives pre-planned in the event of different scenarios

    2. Keep a written schedule with familiar, fun activities

  4. Give your child specific tasks he or she can do to support the birthing parent during labor
    1. Recognize signs of contractions

    2. Gentle hand on arm

    3. Breathing

    4. Quiet

  5. Determine a code word for a partner to remove the child from the room if she interferes with the birth process
    1. Code word > gentle removal > known adult who can focus on child

  6. Reduce jealousy in the first interaction
    1. If there’s time apart, the child may be feeling extra sensitive. Have friend or partner remove baby from room before big sibling arrives so that big kid can greet/snuggle up with mom before the baby is brought in and welcomed

  7. Make the birth a celebration!
    1. Have a gift for the big sibling “from” the new sibling

    2. Have a “birthday party” for the new sibling ~a week after the birth

View our labor checklist   What other advice would you give to families preparing to introduce a new sibling? Share below.
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Justice-Centered ParentingBy Rachel Alva