Pain changes us. But it doesn't have to change our hearts.

That's the truth I want to sit with today — because I think a lot of us have experienced a moment where something hurt us deeply and without even realizing it, we started to shut down. The walls went up. We became more guarded. Less open. And we told ourselves it was necessary.

And maybe it was, for a season.

But here's what I've learned: when we put up a wall to keep the pain out, it keeps everything out. It keeps people out. It keeps love out. And it keeps God out too. I know that because I've lived it.

This week I want us to step into the Easter story differently. Not from the end — not with the resurrection already in view — but scene by scene, moment by moment. Because when we read Jesus's story knowing how it ends, we can unintentionally bypass the very real pain he felt as a human being.

He was betrayed by someone close to him. Denied by one of his closest friends. Abandoned by the very people who said they would stay. Publicly mocked and crucified.

From a human perspective, those are exactly the moments where we would expect anger. Bitterness. A desire for retaliation.

Instead he said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

He didn't deny what was happening. He didn't pretend it didn't hurt. But he didn't let the pain turn into hardness either.

Love stayed.

And I think that's the invitation for us too.

Now — I want to be clear about something, because this comes up every time I talk about forgiveness. Forgiveness and boundaries are two very different things and we have to walk two very different paths with them. If you've experienced abuse or you're in a relationship that is consistently harmful, I am not asking you to keep your heart open to that person. That's not what this is about.

This is about what happens inside of us. The internal choice. Choosing not to become bitter. Releasing the offense we're holding onto. Allowing God to heal what has hurt us and keeping our hearts open to Him — even when it's His own people who caused the pain.

Because here's the truth: if love doesn't stay, the pain stays. And pain turns into bitterness. And bitterness quietly shapes who we become — until we're more defined by what hurt us than by the healing God offered us.

You can have strong boundaries and still have a soft heart.

I've walked some very painful roads. The aftermath of the Amish schoolhouse shooting. Feeling misjudged and misunderstood. Having the whole world looking on. Maybe you can find yourself somewhere in Jesus's story too — betrayed, denied, abandoned, or publicly criticized. He knows what that feels like. He sees your pain. And because he walked through pain far greater than anything I'll ever know, he has the ability to meet us right there in ours.

He came as a healer. And that's what he wants to do in those places where we know pain — bring healing so that love can stay and flow through us.

We don't have to let the things that hurt us harden us. The cross shows us that. Love doesn't disappear in the midst of suffering. It can stay. And that is the very place where healing begins.

Questions to sit with this week:

Join me next week for the final episode in our Easter series — we're going to talk about the truth that resurrection is a pattern. Not just a one-time event, but something we can see over and over again in our own lives.