So you think you’re ugly enough to make it in Hollywood? Great, because there’s lots of roles for the physically unfortunate so find your niche, “guy in corner.” Coop’s really good day in the first world goes south as he plunges Boot-holes-first into one of LA’s infamous muddy puddles. Good thing he brought his 24 hour Hydro flask, chocked full of his mom’s homemade espresso pods, pre-ground in a factory months ago by the hundreds of thousands, just for you. Myan gets his own dose of the Mondays as his first world struggle with his plethora of Apple products seems to have no end. Like a vat of unfrothed raw milk you just keep steaming and steaming aaand STEAMING...!!

Join us this week for a glimpse at Cooper’s naked ankles and a lukewarm oatmilk Cortado and if that is not enough to sooth your involuntary racism just call Apple support and ask for Chayla... she’s going make some lucky guy one hell of a neck someday.