After an extended baby-related hiatus, Lucy Cappiello and Evan Munday are back to talk about everybody's favourite new CW/Netflix show, Riverdale. Finally, someone let us out of our cage, and we have a lot of thoughts about:

• Archie Andrews's construction-borne abs
• sexual predators hiding as teachers
• Jughead's non-burger diet and cringeworthy voiceovers
• Mr. Weatherbee's bolo ties
• whether moose or horses have larger members
• and, of course, who killed Jason Blossom?

Stay tuned for more reviews of Archie digests and (inevitably) more sizzling hot Riverdale takes. (And, of course, watch Riverdale every week on your local CW or Netflix affiliate.)