About two months into making this podcast, I became obsessed with listenership numbers, constantly checking how many listens there were for each new podcast, and then I began to think about new ways to grow listenership and make the podcast into something much larger.

Growing the podcast is not a bad endeavor, but because I now know myself deeply, I was able to quickly realize that I was becoming obsessed with the idea of growing for the sake of growing. 

If I never took the time to sit still on those long quiet nights, getting to know myself deeply, I would have likely carried on my life much the same way. I would maintain a subtle nagging sense of mediocrity and unfulfillment. I would have continued to work harder just to beat last year's numbers. I would likely have launched some uninspiring podcast about parenting and entrepreneurship (who needs another one of those), and I would have been looking only at how to grow and interview high profile people just so I could grow a following with absolutely no conscious thinking behind it. And maybe I would have been a huge success, but the feeling of mediocrity and dissatisfaction would still permeate my very being.

And this is precisely why knowing yourself and being honest with yourself is the first pillar to living the fullest life.