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The Mikes have a confession to make: we read and have thinkings about another Thomas Disch novel. We marvel and cringe at the what goes underneath those cassocks. 
It's Cocktail Time!
No one Drinks the Spanish Inquisition
In a shaker with ice, mix

• 1/2 shot Cointreau
• 1/2 shot calvados

Pour into coupe glass (for up) or rocks glass (for on the rocks). Fill glass with cava and top with a shake or two of bay leaf bitters.
Chin Chin!