Dealing with hostility, keeping your head while everyone is losing theirs

Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License

- In life; you can't choose the people you deal with, sometimes you can (i.e friends); but in other situations, you are stuck with people whom you may not be comfortable dealing with. That is a part and parcel of life; and you should consider it as a form of testing for yourself. - Don't Respond With Anger and don't inflame. "An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind" - Mahatma Gandhi.It's very natural to get upset when angry people confront you, regardless of whether their anger is justified. However, when somebody is being hostile and angry, reflecting the anger and/or hostility back never works. All you do is inflame the situation and invite further confrontation. Dealing with hostility involves looking at the bigger picture and seeing if winning this battle matters in the context of the bigger war. "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." – Mark Twain- Don't respond, distance yourself emotionally and don't take it personally. People being angry and hostile doesn't mean that you're responsible for causing it. Sometimes, another person's anger has nothing to do with you. Sometimes the most effective way to hold up a mirror is to simply say nothing. When people are behaving badly, on some level deep inside, they know it.  If they are really being hostile and continue to be aggressive, you might just respectfully walk away, saying, "Perhaps we should discuss this another time."“Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others.” — Paramhansa Yogananda- TRY to Identify the Cause and being the hero. View another's boorish behavior as an opportunity to gain respect. If you handle the situation calmly and in control, they will know it in their quiet moments of reflection. Furthermore, other people will become aware of the dignity with which you handled the situation, and you will thereby gain respect. Trying to determine why the person you're dealing with feels angry. -Let the person know you want to understand their feelings and perspective. If you don't understand them, ask for more information in a civil tone. They need to know that you really want to hear what they have to say. It's as if you're on the same side of the fence and are asking them for their help so you can understand them. - When working in emotionally demanding roles, chances are that you have to deal with angry people regularly. This "emotional labor" can be particularly draining, especially when people are not equipped to handle these situations."Delicious baked goods were the great work hostility equalizer, no matter how unorthodox the workplace." - Molly Harper- Understand that offensive behavior is just on the surface of who they are. When speaking to them, talk to the deeper person underneath the hostility. Treat them as you would want to be treated. "if you avoid conflict to keep the peace you start a war inside yourself" - Cheryl Richardson- Communicate How You Feel. Sometimes a simple, firm, yet respectful statement like "It's not okay to speak that way" works well. You're simply letting the person know their behavior is not constructive but is, in fact, destructive and hurtful.-You may work or live with a person who frequently experiences angry outbursts. If so, once the anger has passed, it's important to communicate how this person's anger makes you feel.- Stay Safe, and Involve OthersIf you feel threatened by an angry person, trust your judgment. Leave the room immediately if you feel unsafe, or if you're too upset to resolve the situation on your own.Ask your boss or a trusted colleague to work with you to resolve the situation.