Get ready for a faux-monologue featuring the central theme of HBO's Chernobyl: "What is the cost of lies?"

I can't stop thinking about this question, so I thought I'd pawn some of my existential fears off on you. Excpet instead of bemoaning the shortcomings of communism, I turn my attention to something more familiar. Namely, our food.

Once again, "Off the Record" is a more extemporaneous venture than my normal show. It will feature topics outside of the usual narrow categories of food, broken ecosystems, and a better way to live. Today's episode will be about food, but in a consciously theatrical manner.

If you can't deal with theatrics, you'd better turn it off.