This podcast dwells into a very dark special issue of mine. There was a time that I needed help with my apartment and my mom decided that she was really busy and she couldn't come out to send me out a check so she said that she had money in a savings account and you probably have a bank out there that is similar or the same connections. When she found out that I can use a bank out here to withdraw money from a special savings account for my rent I cite it cool that was great. After I went to the bank and withdrew enough money to get help with the rent I realized it wasn't that hard to go there and get money out for needs that we have from that point on I kept debiting out the money that was in that account for stuff that we needed. Did I have permission to keep going back and taking money out of this account? Maybe one other time and that was it. I believe I stole between $600 to $800 out of that account that she had put to side for a rainy day. This podcast deals with this situation what would have happened if my mom and dad found out. FYI let me rephrase this instead of rewriting this. My mother did find out about this and I believe to a day she died she never forgave me for this. I got the absolute worst if my mom was Jewish I was ashamed of you speech of My Life Time. She didn't really raise her voice one time but you could tell she was extremely pissed and was trying to hold back her anger of this and if I was probably 20 or 30 years younger she probably would have whooped my ass. To me this is one of the worst days of my life when that phone call rang because I knew what I was doing and I knew my mother was smart enough to find out what I've caused. I was not a smart kid to do something so stupid for a person who's helped me in my lifetime so many times so many checks for rent and we needed help my mother was there 90% of the time to help me out. To the day she died if I needed help after that point she was very quick to ask well if you haven't taken that money out of my account you would have money right there. And this is where this role play takes place or my guilt that I've always felt. my mother was close to being on her deathbed I would say maybe a year before she died my brother invited me to stay with her for the weekend so I can have one last good weekend with her. There was this part of me that I wish I could have talked to Mom about my interest which she know about cuz she asked me the week I left house and of course that's another role playing itself which you'll hear about. I wish I could have asked her to spank me that that weekend for the money I stole from her because I would feel better for what I caused you. Of course she probably would have said no but and we probably would have to have a long talk regarding that situation I still would have feel better for my guilt sake for causing all that problems. This is probably the longest episode description I've ever done for one of my podcasts. For me this has been one of the more serious topics I've ever done in my lifetime. I've done this podcast topic before with another young lady she did a really good job with it so there's a possibility we might do this for a third time in the future so if you do hear it you'll understand why and how important it is to me.

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