Wave pools. Drain suction. Parasites that laugh at chlorine. Turns out the "safe" attraction at the water park was never safe — and we've got the real-life horror stories to prove it (RIP Action Park, aka "Traction Park").

🎬 PIRANHA (1978) — Genetically engineered killer fish, bred for Vietnam, get loose and head straight for a summer camp. Spielberg himself called it "the best of the Jaws rip-offs."

🎬 JAWS 3D (1983) — The Brody boys can't catch a break. This time it's a SeaWorld-style marine park and a mama great white hunting for her missing baby through the underwater tunnels.

Plus: Verrückt, Cryptosporidium outbreaks, and why wave pools might be the scariest attraction of all.

New Patron shoutout: Pool Boi Q 🏊

🎧 Listen now — wherever you get podcasts!
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