Steph, Any resources you have or know of about single people with intimacy issues?

First of all, thank you for reaching out. Intimacy issues are tough and very common. A lot of people will benefit from your question. Your bravery is impactful.

Though the answer to this really depends on the root of those intimacy issues, I’d say there are a few places you can start.

Second of all, let’s look at some signs of intimacy issues

* When emotions come up in a relationship (or in general), you shut down* You aren’t showing up for your partner (or yourself) when they need you* Your relationships don’t last long and look the same* Committing to a relationship scares you* You stop wanting to have physical intimacy after you start to know your partner more

1. The obvious resources would be to work with a therapist, professional hypnotist, or life coach to work with you through this issue.

When it comes to a therapist, you should know I really recommend Marriage and Family Therapists because they work with the lens of the entire system and that’s powerful.

2. Sometimes we want to start at home and see if we can work through some of this stuff on our own. Books can be an awesome resource.

Book List

I’d recommend starting with: Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel and the Self Love Workbook by Shainna Ali, PhD.

3. Plus, I’d encourage you to sit down with a journal and answer some of these questions while you’re waiting for your first session or book to arrive.

* What does trust mean to you?* What does trust look like?* Teach me how to not to trust someone. Write down everything you do to keep your wall up and others out. * Are you ready to let go of intimacy issues?* Who do you trust the most in your life? Write the story of how that came to be. * How much do you trust yourself?* When do you doubt yourself and others the most?* When do you know that you trust someone?* What has to happen for you to start to doubt someone?* What has to happen to replace trust with doubt?* What statements do you say to yourself when something happens and you begin to have fear or suspicion of someone?* How much trust do you need in a relationship to feel safe? Think of a scale 0 to 10. 10 being 100% and 0 is 0%. What brings your number up on that scale and what brings your number down on that scale? * Is it possible to be in a relationship and still have some independence for both people?* What are the benefits of an intimate relationship? Why is this something you want in your life?* What are the risks of an intimate relationship? * What can you do to prevent the risks?* When do you question if you’re good enough for someone?* When do you know you’re good enough and lovable?* When you’re in a relationship, when do you feel significant and have certainty?

4. Pay attention to your own inner dialogue and if it is helping you to create a picture of mistrust of someone because you’re scared of feeling the pain and loss of being broken up with or because you’re actually seeing red flags that the relationship isn’t for you.

5. I’d also highly encourage you to make a list of all the...