Every day it's the same. Roused from slumber some time before noon I make a beeline for the nearest liquor store, which is helpfully located right across the way. I buy a fifth of anything cheap; if it rots my guts it goes down the hatch. Booze procured, I stagger back to my house across the street. I lurch into the front door and draw all the curtains. I turn on the TV and it's already tuned to Fox News sans sound. I take my first pull from the bottle and slip my headphones on. I press play on the iPod Shuffle. W3 Thr33 Tr0lls fills my ear-holes as endorphins flood my brain. I am complete.